Ponderings ......

The following post is from: http://jellybeanandpeanut.blogspot.com


SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 2007

The whole idea of adoption is difficult to wrap my head around sometimes; and if its difficult for me, I know that its difficult for friends and family members watching us go through it to understand. Z and I do NOT think that the boys are "lucky" to be adopted and come live with us. If anything, it is quite the opposite. We are the ones who feel blessed to be chosen to raise these two precious boys. We have been granted the biggest gift anyone could ever bestow on us, the gift of not one, but two lives. And with this gift comes great responsibility; Z and I want to raise the boys in a way that will make our families proud, in a way that honors their birth family, and in a way that honors Ghana.

I will never think that our boys were "meant to be with us"; to do so would mean that I would have to believe that they were "meant" to lose their birth family, that they were "meant" to leave Ghana and everything they know. The world is a harsh place sometimes; it isn't fair and balanced. The best case scenario for our boys would be that they could continue to live in Ghana with birth family members who love them and can afford to take care of them. They would receive an education, they would receive proper medical care, they would grow up to become men who can offer something to their communities, and they would never know that we existed. But the truth is, our world does not operate on "best case scenario", or any of the next few "next to best case scenarios" on the list. Instead, due to circumstances outside their control and outside our control, our boys ended up in an orphanage in Accra. Even the very best orphanages in the world are no substitute for a family.

I wish we could change the world. I wish that we could find ways to put safety nets into place so that families falling through the cracks could be caught and kept together long before orphans are created. I wish orphanages weren't necessary. I wish that domestic adoption programs were in place all over the world and that children could be placed into loving families in their country of birth. But the truth is, the orphan crisis is simply too big for many countries. Families in many countries in Africa are already over-extended. They have already taken in all that they can; and there are still children becoming orphans every day. Somehow, the problem needs to be fixed at the source. International adoption at the end of the process is not a fix.

Ending the HIV/AIDS epidemic, ridding the world of malaria, building communities up to end poverty, and building diplomatic relationships around the world to end and avoid wars are fixes and that's where we NEED to make a difference.

Z and I are adopting two beautiful little boys. Someone please tell me there is hope for the other 999,998 orphans in Ghana. Someone please tell me what will happen to the MILLIONS of orphans all over our world who currently have no hope of finding a new family. Those of us who live comfortable lives in safe places need to understand that there are others who are suffering. And we should not be comfortable with that.

* * * * *

This post has drawn some good discussion.

My response to the post ...

While I agree with Chanda that God's original design would be for children to be raised by their birth families, God knew before these children were even born that their families were not going to be able to care for them. So, he hand-picked each of our families to raise these precious ones from 1/2 a world away.


Sue's response ...

As a believer in Christ, I whole heartedly agree with Laurel's comment. God knows everything about our lives and what will or will ot happen. Our children are coming from unfortunate circumstances, but He is the orchestrator of all that is good and He knows where He wants these children when the original family is not a possibility. So you can say your children are meant to be with you, because that is where God unltimately placed them.


And, Renee's though-provoking response ...
(Renee is also adopting from Ghana and we have become friends through this blogging world ... you can check out Renee's family blog at http://steppinheavenward.blogspot.com )

I agree with her response to people who believe or assume that our children are better off with us than with their birth families.

People often say "They are so lucky" or "They are so blessed" about our sons from Ethiopia when actually we are the ones who have been blessed beyond what I can even describe to be entrusted to these precious children.

I am afraid a lot of it stems from the fact that many people believe that financial prosperity = a better life and more opportunities. People of all walks and incomes love their children. A family who lives in stark poverty loves their children as much as I love mine. It would be as wrong of me to insist that I could give that child a better life as it would be for Bill Gates to believe my children could have a better life if adopted by him.

I believe that it was not God's will for our children to lose their birth family just as it was not His will for Adam and Eve to sin in the garden. We live in a fallen world, and much happens that must deeply grieve the heart of our Father.

I do believe that just as He did with Joseph God is going to take what is meant as evil and use it for good in the lives of our boys. He has and will restore the years the locusts have eaten.

I do know that God in His sovereignty purposely placed our children into this family. I firmly believe that there are NO accidental adoptions. There is so much that can happen or go wrong in an adoption that I know each adoption is a miracle just as is the birth of a child. It is no accident or coincidence that these children with their personalities, strengths, and weaknesses were put into our home.

* * * *

I hope that this discussion has helped you to understand some of the thoughts and questions that this journey has brought to our family.

Budding Artists

All of the children love to color and draw. I'm sure they will love taking Art Classes with Josiah and Elijah. And, Hosanna will enjoy teaching the girls how to knit and crochet (if they haven't learned yet).

The children sent us a stack of pictures that they had drawn ... too many to share each one with you. But, I do want to share a picture that Sarah drew of the three of them.

Thankful Turkeys

The children made Thankful Turkeys to send to us. They are handmade with colored craft foam, about 12" x 12". Very Cute!!! On the "Feathers" they wrote what they were thankful for.

This is Jacob's Thankful Turkey.





Rachel is Thankful for ...

Sarah
Hugs
Rachel
Family
For This Sunday
I Love Hosanna
I Love Elijah


Sarah is Thankful for ...

My Friends
My Mom
My Life
My Home
Everything
Mama


Jacob is Thankful for ...

My House
My Father
My Family
My Brothers
My Sisters
My Friends
My Mother
Giving Me Food
My Teachers

Messages of Love

We got a package in the mail today, with letters and pictures from our dear children. It couldn't have come at a better time, as we have been so discouraged with the delays. We also got new pictures recently, from Tanya (see post below).

Precious Rachel wrote to us and said ... (actually probably written by Tanya, but spoken by Rachel)



Dear Family,

Thank you for giving me the clothes. And the necklace. We love it. I am glad to come your place. I like to play traffic light (red light, green light). I love to eat chicken with rice. I love to play with toys.

Mom, you are pretty to me. I am happy to go to America. The things that you give me is nice. I will meet you soon.

I love you Dad. I am glad to see you Dad. And Mom. I love Hosanna. She is pretty. I will meet you.

Love,

Rachel


Sweet Sarah wrote to us and said .... (incl. her cute spelling)




Dear Family,

You are so kind to me. I love you very much. And I will pray for you so you can have plany money. You love people very much. I love your home. My family, I am so glad that you are coming to take care of us.

My favorite movies are Nanria. I am so glad to see you. You will see me soon. You also loves me very miuch. I love all of you. You are too pretty to me. You look lovely too.

I wish that God Holy Spirit will come upon you.

I love the clothes that you gave to me. I have one woman that plant my hair. I wish that when I am coming, you would like to see me.

Hosanna is a lovely girl. And I love her.

Mom is very lovely woman. She loves little children.

Dad is a very good teacher. I know that if I come home, you will teach me everything that you know.

God is great than everybody. My name is Sarah, and I wrote all this things.

I love stories very much. When I come home, will you read me stories in the night or in the morning, in the afternoon.

I love cookies and juice very much. My favorite animal is elephant. My best color is white and yellow.

What is you name, mom and dad. I don't know your names.

Sarah




A note from Joy-filled Jacob ... (in the dark blue shirt)





Dear Mom and Dad,

I love you. I will come soon.

I am preying for you to have money. God will bless your children. God will take his angles and guide all of you and your children.

I like to play baseball and catch. I can hit the baseball and run home.

I like to draw and color. I like to listen to music. I like coloring books. I like to play hide and seek. I like to skate and walk on stilts. And, I like to play football (which is soccer in the U.S.)

I am glad to write this letter. Thank you.

Jacob




And ... another sweet picture of all 3 kids .....

Thanks Tanya!

A woman from Texas recently visited Ghana to work with several orphanages. While there, she spent 8 days at the Beacon House, with our children. Today, we received a letter from Tanya, giving us new insight into who each of our children are. Thank you Tanya, for blessing our lives by touching the lives of our children. Here are a few excerpts from Tanya's letter ...


"Victor (as I knew him), is a young man among children at Beacon House. He was the first to offer help with carrying my bags. He showed me how to hand wash my clothes and was very intent on doing it thoroughly and correctly. He didn't mind that the other boys were playing soccer; he preferred to be with me and have that one-on-one time. He greeted us just about every morning with something. He would bring water or some pictures he drew, or just come in to say "Good Morning." He is so very charming. I fell in love with him on day one. When were were leaving, I was having the children all sign a poster I had made to thank my co-workers for their donations. I said, "Hey Victor, you need to sign this." He looked up at me and said, "I am not Victor. I am Jacob." He seemed quite proud to have a new name from his family."

"Sarah was also a delight. She helped Megan and I to make some bracelets with glass beads. She was also the best at "planting" hair. I let a few of the girls braid my hair one night during a movie. Sarah was very neat and did each braid so carefully. She was so proud of herself that she asked if we would continue to wear the braids when we left to go to America. We assured them that we would, and, sure enough, on the night we were to leave, the girls were beaming with pride that we had left the braids in our hair. Sarah is a very good student and a very sweet girl. I enjoyed every minute with her."

"Rachel is so kind. She loves her sister so much and tries to do exactly as Sarah does. She gets along well with all of the other children and plays very nicely. The day we took the kids to Social Welfare, the kids all handled themselves very well. They answered the questions that the social worker asked and sat quietly coloring on paper when they weren't being questioned. I was very proud of all three of them and I told them that I would let you guys know how well they behaved."

"Beacon House runs so well. The children clean their clothes and dishes. They look after one another. They study the Bible in school. They attend church on Sundays. They pray as a group before bed. Jacob says grace before each meal and sits at the head of the table. They are amazing."


We were sooo..... blessed to receive this update from Tanya today. We hope and pray that we will be able to make travel plans soon.



Sarah and friends' braiding job.

Waiting ....

We've had a difficult week, in the ongoing waiting game.

Friends of ours, who began the adoption process shortly after we did, got their adoption decree this week. They plan to travel to Ghana and bring their children home before Christmas. We truly are excited for them ... but it does make our wait even more frustrating.

Why did their adoption go through so quickly? Because they only have 2 biological children. While Ghana does not have any laws regarding family size (as many countries do), there are judges who just aren't favorable towards the concept of a large American family adding several African children.

Two weeks ago, we were told that our adoption would be delayed at least 6 weeks, because the judge that our attorney is planning to use has taken an unexpected holiday. We asked if there weren't another judge that might be favorable, but were told to wait.

The process is made even more difficult by the fact that all communication with our orphanage director is through email, so we know that we are not always heard clearly (usually too much emotion is read into things, when, truly, we are just wanting to ask questions). We have not met the director, nor have we met the attorney. But ... we must trust that they know what is best.

This morning, we are so very thankful for the wisdom that the director and attorney have shown in waiting. Still difficult ... but thankful. I have made a new friend, through this blogging world. She is the precious mama of 9 children, in process of adopting 2 more from Ghana. On her blog this morning, I read that the Ghana Social Welfare had denied them due to their large family. Heartbreaking ... to say the least. They have not given up, but my heart aches for them (for the parents, for their other children, and for the 2 precious boys in Ghana waiting to come home to this beautiful family). Please say a prayer for Jim and Renee and their family, as they continue to puruse the adoption of these 2 boys that, in their hearts, they have already called their own.

God's Mission: Adoption

I found this on another blog, and it touched my heart. Hope it ministers to you as well.


God's Mission: Adoption
by Max Lucado

When we come to Christ, God not only forgives us, he also adopts us. Through a dramatic series of events, we go from condemned orphans with no hope to adopted children with no fear. Here is how it happens. You come before the judgment seat of God full of rebellion and mistakes. Because of his justice he cannot dismiss your sin, but because of his love he cannot dismiss you. So, in an act which stunned the heavens, he punished himself on the cross for your sins. God's justice and love are equally honored. And you, God's creation, are forgiven. But the story doesn't end with God's forgiveness.

For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out "Abba! Father!" The Spirit himself bears witness with our Spirit that we are children of God (Rom. 8:15–16 NASB).

But when the fullness of time came, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the Law, in order that He might redeem those who were under the Law, that we might receive the adoption as sons (Gal. 4:4–5 NASB).

It would be enough if God just cleansed your name, but he does more. He gives you his name. It would be enough if God just set you free, but he does more. He takes you home. He takes you home to the Great House of God.

Adoptive parents understand this more than anyone. I certainly don't mean to offend any biological parents—I'm one myself. We biological parents know well the earnest longing to have a child. But in many cases our cribs were filled easily. We decided to have a child and a child came. In fact, sometimes the child came with no decision. I've heard of unplanned pregnancies, but I've never heard of an unplanned adoption.

That's why adoptive parents understand God's passion to adopt us. They know what it means to feel an empty space inside. They know what it means to hunt, to set out on a mission, and take responsibility for a child with a spotted past and a dubious future. If anybody understands God's ardor for his children, it's someone who has rescued an orphan from despair, for that is what God has done for us.

God has adopted you. God sought you, found you, signed the papers and took you home.