Basic Beliefs ... God's Perspective on Family Planning

My last post shared why Jim and I have chosen to have an extra-large family. However, not everyone is going to have those same set of circumstances. When laying in the recovery room after being told that the Lord had healed me, it would have been pretty hard to dismiss the thoughts of "Maybe God wants us to have more children." But, what about you? How do you determine what God wants for your family?


Question #1 What will I share with my children and their spouses when they begin to think about Family Planning? What have I shared with other young moms and couples?

First of all ... I am NOT a Bible scholar. I am NOT a theologian. I am an ordinary mama seeking after an extraordinary God, always asking what HE wants for MY life. I am not here to judge the choices other people make. I am here to encourage those of you who are making your life choices, to seek HIS will, not your own will, nor the wisdom of the world.

I have 3 basic beliefs about Family Planning ...

#1 Children are a BLESSING.

"Children are a gift of the Lord; The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them." Psalm 127:3-5

This seems to be the only blessing that young Christian couples regularly tell the Lord, "Please, God, we don't want THIS blessing ... but give us lots of the other blessings.


#2 God will ALWAYS take care of our needs.


"Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on ... For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." Matthew 6:25, 32-33

Christian couples are often heard saying, "We couldn't possibly afford to have more children." Yet, at the same time, they are buying new homes, new cars, new boats, and taking vacations all over the world.


#3 God will NEVER give us more than we can handle. He is ALWAYS there to give us strength to walk through each and every day, no matter how difficult life may seem.

"God is my strength and my power, and He makes my way perfect." 2 Samuel 22:33

"Seek the Lord and His strength. Seek His face evermore!" 1 Chronicles 16:11

I regularly hear from Christian women ... "I just don't have the patience for more children." Well, maybe God wants to use more children to teach you the patience He wants you to have.


So, my questions for you, if you are struggling with trying to determine how many children you will have ...

#1 Do you believe those 3 premises?

Do you believe that children are a blessing?
Do you believe that God will always provide for your needs?
Do you believe that God will never give you more than you can handle?

#2 If you believe those 3 premises, why then do you believe that you are to only have 1 or 2 or 3 children?


PLEASE don't run away now, and never come back to my blog. I KNOW what you are thinking ...

You are thinking ...

#1 Laurel thinks everyone should have a dozen or more children.
#2 Laurel doesn't believe in using birth control.
#3 Laurel is absolutely, totally crazy and she has no understanding of MY life.

No ...

#1 "Laurel thinks everyone should have a dozen or more children." No ...

I do NOT think that everyone should have a dozen or more children.
I do NOT believe that God has called every family to be extra-large.
I DO believe that many families are NOT seeking the LORD for HIS will on the size of their families.


God wants us to trust HIM to be the determining factor.

He does not want us to make emotional decisions based on the world's views: how hard it is to raise kids today ... how much it costs to raise kids today ...

God wants us to be willing to step out in FAITH and TRUST Him, whether we end up with 2 kids or 20 kids.

"And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him." Hebrews 11:6


#2 " Laurel doesn't believe in using birth control." No ...

This is the biggest area that people assume incorrectly what our beliefs are. There are plenty of authors, pastors and Biblical scholars who will disagree with me on this. But, I do not believe that any and every type of birth control is evil.

I read a book once that was advocating how wrong any type of birth control was, and the author said, "It's not like we reproduce like rabbits." I laughed and thought, "Maybe she doesn't, but what about me." With my first 5 babies being born in 4 years, I didn't think it would be wise to keep up that pace for the next 20 years. Scary!

Another reason that I do not agree with the Christian "teachers" that say that birth control is evil, is that I have known families that keep having kid after kid, not because they want to, but because they've been told "you have to." Seriously, I have sat with mothers who are distraught over another pregnancy, and scared to even tell their husbands, but they have sat under the teaching that says, "You must have as many kids as you can physically have." Children then become God's punishment rather than God's blessing.

What I am adamantly opposed to is Christian couples that make the choice to surgically stop the possibility of any future children. We cannot possibly know what God's plan is for our lives in 5 or 10 years. If we had known, after 6 kids, that God wanted us to have 13 children, Jim would have probably been so scared that he would have taken permanent measures. Seriously, with so many non-permanent options, it just makes me sad when couples (especially those in their 20's) believe that they KNOW that God doesn't want them to expand their families. Thankfully, there is the amazing option of adoption, so these couples can change their minds on family size later on. But, I have known too many couples (even ones with 4 and 5 kids) that have told me in their 40's or 50's that their biggest regret in life was that they had made the permanent decision to limit their family size. It is so easy, with a house full of babies, toddlers, and preschoolers to think "No, I can't possibly add one more little one." Then, those little ones grow up and mommy begins to think, "What have we done?"


#3 " Laurel is absolutely, totally crazy, and she has no understanding of MY life."

Yes ... you're right ... I am absolutely, totally crazy.

I am a passionate follower of the LORD Jesus Christ and I only want HIS will for my life. In the world's eyes ... that makes me crazy. In the Lord's eyes ... that makes me His child.

No ... I don't have any understanding of YOUR life. But ... I know Someone who does. Since the Lord knows every little detail of what has been, and what is to come, I hope that you will TRUST Him to know what is BEST for you and your family.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5



I have added a Book Recommendations list in the right panel. I will be adding to the list of books, as we move through this Basic Belief series.