Things I Learned from My Daddy

After writing last night's post, I lay in bed for a long time thinking about the situation. While I know my heartfelt intentions; and God knows my heart; I so wanted you, my readers, to hear my heart ... my sincerest apologies, my desire for open and honest communication, and my complete acceptance of other's viewpoints. These are three very important things that I learned from my dear Daddy.

When I was a junior in high school, the secretary phoned my classroom and asked that I come directly to the office. I went, with absolutely no idea why they would need to talk to me. Upon arriving in the school office, I was told that I had a phone call. It was 11:00 a.m., and my Daddy was telephoning me to apologize. We had had a slight disagreement before school, and my Daddy didn't want either of us to go through the day with hard feelings towards each other. He wanted to make sure that I knew how sorry he was for what he had said, and he wanted me to know of his complete love for me. He couldn't wait until I came home from school, to let me know.

He taught me several important lessons that day ...

#1 How very important an apology is. Seriously, the situation was one of those, "no big deals" and I wasn't at all expecting an apology, much less in the middle of my school day. But ... it was important for Daddy to clear the air immediately.

One of the main purposes of last night's blog post ... to apologize to those bloggers that I had offended, with certainly no idea that I would cause further offense.

#2 How important it is for parents to apologize to their children. There are many adults who might find it important to apologize to their friends for something; but, somehow, they see "weakness" in apologizing to their children.

Just a few days ago, I had to pull one of my children aside and make a sincere apology.

#3 That it is important to apologize for the "little things", before they turn into "big things".

* * * * *

Less than a year after that apology situation, there was a situation at our house that caused me to need to move out. I was just starting the beginning of my Senior year in high school, and some close family friends invited me to come live with them for the year. My Daddy, while he loved me and wanted me at home, knew and understood that it was time for me to leave. But, he did not pull away and sulk about my leaving. No, he actually paid this family a small monthly room and board fee (which they did not ask for), and he took me out to dinner every week to make sure that we kept the lines of communication open.

#1 I learned how important it is to have regular, open, and honest communication.

"Communication" is probably the #1 key component of my marriage and my parenting. I don't want anything misconstrued. I don't want misunderstandings to simmer until they turn into boiling bitterness. (I have seen firsthand, with a family member, the near-fatal consequences of a bitter spirit. 70+ years of hatred has nearly ruined this person's heart ... emotionally, spiritually, and physically.)

* * * * *

One very interesting thing about my weekly dinner dates with Daddy ... we disagreed on nearly every important issue. We couldn't have been further from each other in regards to matters of religion and politics. Yet, we were able to sit across from each other every week and say, "I believe ________." "Well, interesting, because I believe __________." To this very day, neither of us have convinced the other to change their positions (because that wasn't our intent). Yet we have fully loved and accepted each other, despite our differences.

My Daddy is the most liberal of liberal when it comes to politics. He proudly told my children a few years ago that, "Bill Clinton was the best president this country has ever had." We all listened and smiled. He knew we didn't agree, but he knew we weren't there to debate him either. My Daddy thinks same-sex marriage is fine. My Daddy thinks it's okay to ordain homosexual pastors. My Daddy believes every religion is equal. He knows that we don't agree; but he knows that we love and respect him more than anything.

My Daddy doesn't agree with our religious viewpoints either. He does not believe that the Bible is the inerrant Word of God. He believes it is a good book, written by good men. My Daddy doesn't believe in the Virgin Birth of Jesus Christ (this was one of our high school dinner-date discussions). He believes that Jesus was a good man that walked on this earth. But ... I love my Daddy and pray that my Daddy will spend eternity in heaven.

The funniest thing happened 8 years ago ... my Daddy got married after being single for 25 years, and he married "someone just like me" as my Daddy so laughingly tells everyone. His dear wife (and most of her 11 children and 42 grandchildren) is a conservative Christian. So, she completely disagrees with him on religion and politics. But ... she loves him dearly, and respects him fully.

Yes ... I learned from my Daddy ...

... how important an apology is.

... how important open, honest communication is.

... how to discuss our political and religious viewpoints with complete respect, even when our beliefs differ.



I hope and pray that my children are also learning these things from me. I hope that I can be half the amazing person that my Daddy is. I don't think he has a mean, bitter, ornery, bone in his body. He truly knows how to love everyone, and won't say a negative word against anyone. Thanks Daddy ... for being such an example to me.


One more thing ... being that I am in my mid-fourties, most people would expect my Daddy to be mid-sixties to early-seventies. However, my Daddy didn't get married and have children until he was in his fourties. When I was in high school (having my weekly date nights), my Daddy was already 65. Now ... Daddy is 90 and he continues to be a pillar and an example for me and my family. His heart is strong ... because he has protected it from the disease of anger and bitterness. I hope we can all learn a few things from my dear Daddy.