Since we are unable to move to the island at this time, Papa is commuting between both places. He is on the island from Saturday afternoon until Tuesday afternoon, living in the little borrowed camping trailer. He has time for relationship building (or riding his Harley) on Saturday afternoons and evenings. Then, he ...
... preaches on Sunday mornings.
... visits church members Sunday afternoons.
... attends a Small Group Sunday evenings.
... works on sermon prep on Mondays.
(and might sneak in a Harley ride)
... schedules church mtgs. for Monday afternoon.
... leads a Men's Small Group on Monday night.
... catches a ferry on Tuesday, and
heads home to his family.
Now, don't think that he takes the rest of the week off, to play with his family. Oh no! From Tuesday to Saturday, Papa ...
... works on Sermon Prep.
... works on church budget,
and all other church paperwork.
... answers church-related phone calls.
... plans/prepares for the Men's
Small Group that he leads.
... tries to squeeze in a few hours
for taking care of the house and cars.
(Thanks for washing all the cars
on Saturday, Papa!)
... plays a game or two with the young ones.
... sneaks in a conversation or two with Mama.
(We actually went out to dinner last week,
for the first time in almost 3 months.)
It's HARD on Papa! I know he is TIRED. He desperately wants to be with his family ... he wants us ministering alongside him on the island. He's exhausted from trying to run a church and a painting business at the same time.
I want to help Papa. I want to minister with Him. I want to serve him when he is here. But, guess what? That is hard, too. I am TIRED, as well. While my heart's desire is to serve him ... MY expectations sometimes get in the way. I want some Papa time. I want Papa to have time to fix things around the house. (The window that broke last month ... the door lock that broke in April ... ) I want Papa to take a day off ... or a week off ... to just BE with his family.
Then ... I feel guilty.
Around and around we go ...
... neither of us being able to fill the other's love tank.
... neither of us being able to meet the other's needs.
... neither of us being able to really understand how the other is feeling.
... both of us just so tired (physically & emotionally) that
we plod through each day, hoping that tomorrow will be a better day.
Please pray for us ...
... for our marriage to be strong
... for time to communicate, time to share
... for this difficult living situation to be resolved
... for strength to persevere on this journey
... for hope to see a light at the end of the tunnel
It's been a long year ... a very long year ...