Do You Ever Think That ... Life Is Boring ???

Random thoughts this evening ...

"Life is what you make of it."

"Life is only boring, if you let it be."

"Life is a daily adventure, if you look for it."

Today COULD have been a pretty boring day.  


VERY boring ... in fact.  


Miles and miles of brown, flat,  
barren, and BORING landscape.

A 350+ mile drive ... 
with 4 quiet young children ... 
with no ROWDY & FUN Big Kids.  


Yep ... it COULD have been boring.

But ... it wasn't.  

Instead of BORING  ...  


...  our day was UNIQUE  


...  it was INTERESTING  


...  it was definitely a new kind of family ADVENTURE.

We took a risk.

We didn't live in fear.

We stepped "Out of the Box".

Just as we were about to turn onto the freeway entrance ramp ... I noticed ... the HITCH-HIKERS.

Young 20's ... young lady with a ponytail, wearing Carrhart overalls ... young man with curly, floppy hair, playing the guitar.  I looked at all of the empty seats in the back of the van ... I looked at Jim ... I told him they looked just like we did when we were their age and we hitch-hiked.  Jim looked at me quizzically and said, "You want me to pick them up?"  "Yes!"  He pulled over.  By this time we were 1/2 way up the freeway entrance ramp.  I had to yell to get their attention.  

As they ran towards us, the girl yelled, "Do you have room for our two friends?"  Jim looked at me.  I counted seats ... and said, "Sure."  They had 2 more friends down the street, on another corner.  They all ran towards us, arms loaded down with backpacks.  "Okay kids ... let's move things around in here.  We've gotta make room for our new friends."

As the young lady climbed into the van, she accidently dropped her bottle of hard liquor, and it broke on the pavement.  For a split second, I thought, "What have I just gotten us into?"  But ... the Lord gave me peace that we were doing the RIGHT THING.

And ... we spent the next 6 hours enjoying the company of this crazy group of young adults (ages 20 & 21 ... the 1 young lady and 3 young men).  

They all attend college in Montana, and they had decided that a trip to Seattle sounded like a fun Spring Break.  So, they stuck out their thumbs and held up their signs.  Yesterday, when they left Montana, they had all gotten a ride quite quickly, that had brought them to eastern Washington.  They then spent the night "outside".  (I believe they slept "under the bridge" with the homeless population.)  And, this morning, they had been standing on the street corner for 4 HOURS waiting for a ride to Seattle.  They had been pretty discouraged before we pulled up; and they had just broken up into 2 groups, thinking it impossible that all 4 would get a ride together.  

They were sooo ... thankful that we stopped, and that we had room for all of them and their gear.

I don't believe any of them are Believers ... and we didn't feel it was our job today to preach to them.  We just asked them a lot about themselves ... their life experiences ... their goals ... their studies.  And, we shared our lives with them.  We told them about our Road Trips ... they told us about their hitch-hiking trips.  We exchanged stories about New York and New Orleans.  Two of them had even been to Africa before, so we shared stories of which wild animals we had seen there.  

They told us about their parents.  We told them about our young adult children.  They are all in college because that is where their parents want them to be (and I believe that all of their parents are paying for their educations).  However ... none of them really want to be there.  They want to be OUT ... EXPERIENCING life.  We told them of all of the LIFE EXPERIENCES that our young adult children have had.  One young man said he'd rather be a logger, out working in the woods.  Another, had changed his major 3 times already ... all he really wants to do is play his guitar.  The 3rd young man wants to be a writer, and he was reading an Ernest Hemingway book as his little lady napped on his shoulder.

Near the end of the ride, when one of the young men thanked us again (as they had done ALL day), I turned to him and said, "If it were my young adult children out on the street corner, I would hope that a nice family would stop and pick them up."  He was really touched by my reasoning.

When Elijah drew pictures and showed them to one of the guys .... this young man pulled out a few of his own pictures that he had recently drawn.  Later, Elijah pulled out a deck of cards and played games with one of the young men for an hour or two.

They fell asleep in the van (as they probably hadn't gotten much sleep under the bridge).  They woke each other up if the snoring got too loud.  We all laughed.

We stopped at Wendy's for lunch.  As we sat down inside, they said that they were going to go out and eat on the lawn.  When we were finished, we found them all asleep in the grass by the van.  (I took their picture, but can't upload it tonight.)

When we dropped them off on another street corner ... 300 miles and 6 hours later ... I gave each of them a business card.  I had written my blog address on the back, and told them that they could read more about our crazy family if they were interested.  

I don't know ...  

... if the cards were tucked away in their pockets, 

    or dropped in the gutter.  

... if we'll ever hear from them again, 

    or if they'll stop by to visit the blog, 

    or drop me an email.  

... if their lives were touched, 

    or if we were "just another ride".  

But, I do know ...

...  that we did the RIGHT THING.

...  that the Lord gave us a deep love for them.

...  that the Lord touched each of our lives, through them.

...  that our day was definitely NOT boring.

...  that we need to ALWAYS be open to the 

     ADVENTURES that the LORD has for us.

I also know  ...

...  it doesn't matter that they had hard liquor

...  it doesn't matter that they were smoking cigarettes

...  it doesn't matter that they told stories of illegal activities.

What does matter ???

All 4 of these young adults are children of the Lord and we were called to love them.  

...  We didn't have to try to love them.  

...  We didn't have to pretend to love them.  

...  We weren't called to love them, 
      for who they could become tomorrow.

...  We were called to love them, 
      for who they are today, 
      just as they are.

And, we did.  


We loved them.  


We enjoyed them.  


We looked into their eyes and saw young adults wanting to be free to find out REALLY what life is all about.  

I hope and pray that our family was  ...

... an example to them. 

... a light in the darkness. 

... a seed planted in their hearts.


... a new kind of love for them.

What would we have missed out on, 

if we had just kept on driving?

What would these 4 young adults have 

missed out on, if we hadn't taken a risk?

Thank you Jesus ... for another ADVENTURE on this crazy journey of FAITH that you have our family on.

Why Aren't Christians Unified in Christ?

Today's post in my Looking Back series is from April 2009 ...

Cookie Cutter Christians

I often find myself frustrated with the doctrinal roadblocks that people put up ... the "I believe this, and if anyone believes differently than they aren't really Christians."  

I am NOT talking about the differences between different religions.  As a Christian, I believe that the Bible is the Word of God and that any religion that contradicts the Word of God is a false religion, that does not believe the Truth.  I do NOT believe that anyone from any religion can "get to heaven" in their "own way".  I believe that Jesus Christ is the Way, the Truth, and the Life, and that NO ONE can come to the Father, except through Jesus Christ.

However, what frustrates me is the Christian churches that believe that "their way is the only way"  ...  

The churches that say, "If you speak in tongues that is from the devil himself."  and the churches that say, "only those who speak in tongues have the Holy Spirit in their lives".

The churches that say, "Our pastor preaches ENTIRELY from scripture, and any pastor that preaches topically is not doing it RIGHT." or the churches that say, "To really meet the needs of today's society, we must speak topically."

The churches that say, "All babies must be baptized." and the churches that say, "All adults must be baptized."

The churches that say, "Every Believer must ...

...  homeschool.

...  read the King James Version.

...  only listen to hymns.

...  require all women to only wear dresses.

and, the churches that say, "All churches should ...

...  use the Living Bible.

...  have worship that sounds like a rock band.

...  encourage their congregation to "come as you are", 

     even if it is completely immodest.

I do not believe that the Lord intended for us to all be "cookie cutter" Christians.  I do not believe that He wants us to all fit into some little box of "this is what a Christian looks like".

On the flip side, I believe that many churches are getting so casual in their beliefs that they are ignoring scripture (such as when Worship Team members are wearing completely immodest clothing and their young adult groups are focusing their "fellowship" time on drinking alcohol together).

What I have found over the years is that most Christians put themselves in one box or the other, the "Conservative Christian" box or the "Modern Christian" box.

The "Conservative Christian" churches tend to have so many rules and regulations, that they miss out on encouraging the development of a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

The "Modern Christian" churches tend to throw out all rules and regulations, and work to be so "Seeker Friendly" that they miss out on the blessing of living by the rules that God has set out for us in His Word.

Our family has been involved in both kinds of churches over the years, and we are sad that we can't find a church that offers a middle road ... a balance ... a place that says, "We can all look a little different than each other (with slightly different beliefs), but we need to be living a radically different life than "the world", as we seek to truly follow God's Word."  (This is definitely our Pastor's belief, but I don't believe that the majority of the congregation are seeking to be radically different than the world.)

Twelve years ago, we joined a "Conservative Christian" ministry for homeschoolers, and even attended a "home church" with fellow members for a year.  Before we joined, we were drawn to what the families "looked like".  Their children "looked good" ... obedient, well-behaved, modestly dressed, etc...  The organization encouraged families to have lots of children, contrary to the "Modern Christian" belief of "IF you have enough money, you might want to have more than a couple of children."

However, once we had joined this group, it became clear very quickly that we were the "rebellious ones".  We read the NIV, rather than the King James.  We listened to Michael W. Smith, rather than hymns exclusively.  While we encouraged our girls to dress modestly, we did allow them to wear jeans.  They even required my husband to shave off his beard because "it was a sign of rebelliousness".  What?!!  So, while attending our past church we had been considered the "very conservative homeschooling family with all the kids" ... suddenly were were the "rebellious ones".  It just didn't make sense.

The saddest thing we discovered, though, is that while many of the families "looked good" on the outside, many of them were not truly happy.  They were tired of having more children, but they were told that "birth control is from the devil".  They were tired of homeschooling, but they were told that "public schools are from the devil".  They were tired of all of the rules, but they were told that they must "follow the rules in order to honor God".  And, actually, even sadder than the many joyless moms that I met, is that the results of the rules-oriented parenting style actually resulted in many of the teens and young adults rebelling from their parents in the end.  So, while they looked good during the time that they could still control their children, in the end many of their children rejected the lifestyle of "looking good".

After a year, we realized that we would much rather be the "ultra-conservative" family in a "Modern Church", than the "rebellious" family in a "Conservative Church".  However, that is not always easy either  ...   

...  While many families allow their children to dress however they want (even to church), we have clothing guidelines for our children whether they are headed to church or to the beach for the day.

...  While many families automatically allow and encourage their children to attend Youth Group, we have often not allowed our children because of the lack of standards for the volunteer leaders at Youth Group.

...  While many families allow any type of music to be listened to, or at least any type of Christian music, we have music guidelines also, and we don't allow just any music that happens to be purchased at the Christian Bookstore.

So, who are we ... where do we fit ???

We are "Conservative" since we ...

...  homeschool.

...  have LOTS of kids.

...  wear modest clothes 

    (but not exclusively dresses)

...  don't allow our boys to have long hair

...  don't watch television

...  don't have xBox, PlayStation, wii, etc...

...  don't drink alcohol

...  don't allow our children to date until they're 18

Yet, we are "Modern Christians" because we ...

...  listen to contemporary Christian music

...  read the NIV

...  allow our children to watch movies

...  allow our girls to wear jeans and shorts

...  allow our children to participate in the 

     "evil" public school programs (sports, drama, etc...)

Even in the areas that we do have "rules and regulations", we know that those are the guidelines that the Lord has called our family to, and we don't say that anyone else must live by the same standards.  We don't try to find friends that only fit into our little "box" of Christianity.  We have friends that ...

...  homeschool

... have their kids in public school

...  have large families

...  have small families

...  attend "Conservative" churches

...  attend "Modern" churches

...  don't watch t.v.

... watch a LOT of t.v.

...  don't drink alcohol

...  enjoy a drink with dinner

...  require their boys to get regular haircuts

...  have boys with very cute long hair

The truth is ... none of those things really matter in our friendships.  What matters is that each of our families are loving and serving the Lord Jesus Christ ... IN OUR OWN WAY.  Each of our families love and respect the guidelines that we have set for our own families.  We can even laugh at each other and say, "Boy, I don't understand why you do it that way?"  And, sometimes, after those types of discussion ... we may relax our guidelines a bit, or other families may tighten their guidelines a bit.  When we enter these friendships without judgement, the Lord can use us to teach each other.  None of us have the "red phone", a "hotline" to the Lord that is only available to us.  No ... we each have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and we each are daily seeking Him for what He wants for our individual family.  Wouldn't it be boring if God had created each person and each family and each church, to look and believe exactly the same?

While we often feel like the "odd family" at church, we do love our church.  

We LOVE ...

...  our Senior Pastor, and his AMAZING messages 

     (or sermons, as the conservatives would call it)

...  our Worship Director, 

     and the contemporary worship teams

     (we even sing hymns ... with a twist)

...  the Children's Pastor that just left after 7 years

     (sooo... sad to see her move across the country)

...  our Youth Pastor and the GREAT work 

     that he is doing with youth

...  the focus on Missions, all over the world

...  the focus on Outreach to the Community

...  the passion to reach out to  

     Single Mothers and Orphans

...  the vision to plant churches 

     in other parts of our county

     (just this week, our church paid cash 

     to buy an old tavern to turn it into a church)

Now ... I realize that I may have just offended each and every one of you, because you probably fit quite comfortably into either the "Conservative Christian" box or the "Modern Christian" box.  Please forgive me if I've offended you; that was not at all my intent.

What I hope that we can all learn from today's ponderings is that ... 

...  NONE of us have it all "right".

...  NONE of our churches are perfect.

...  rules and regulations WON'T get us to heaven.

...  ONLY a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ 

     will bring us the gift of eternal life.

I hope that we can each look into our lives and see if there are  ... 

...  areas that we have been judging others 

...  areas that we are putting much further up on the list 

     of importance than maybe God intended them to be 

...  areas that we might actually be able to learn 

     from those that fit into the "other box"

My dream ... my passion ... is to have Christians throw out all of the "boxes" and just learn to love and serve the Lord, side-by-side.  

...  Conservative and Modern Believers

     going on a mission trip together.

...  Homeschoolers and Public Schoolers 

     seeking the BEST education for their children, 

     and supporting each other in the choices they make

...  Hymn Singers enjoying a little bit of a modern beat

...  Contemporary Worshipers enjoying the hymns

...  Women in dresses fellowshipping 

     with women in modest shorts

...  Adults who don't drink alcohol, 

     enjoying dinner with those that are drinking a beer

...  Young men with pony tails and tattoos

     praying for boys with crewcuts 

Won't you join me???

I hope that you have all enjoyed this weeks Looking Back posts.  I'll be back tomorrow, from my little road trip across the state; and I look forward to touching base with my Bloggy Friends again.

Where Do I Stand In My Relationship With Christ?

Today, in our Looking Back series, I would like to share two posts with you ...


The first post is from April 21, 2009 ...

What Do I Have To Do To Get To Heaven?

Crazy Love - page 61

"The very fact that a holy, eternal, all-knowing, all-powerful, merciful, and just God loves you and me is nothing short of astonishing.  

The wildest part is that Jesus doesn't have to love us.  His being is utterly complete and perfect, apart from humanity.  He doesn't need me or you.  Yet He wants us, chooses us, even considers us His inheritance (Eph. 1:18).  The greatest knowledge we can ever have is knowing God treasures us.

That really is amazing beyond description.  The holy Creator sees you as His "glorious inheritance".

The irony is that while God doesn't need us but still wants us, we desperately need God but don't really want Him most of the time.  He treasures us and anticipates our departure from this earth to be with Him  ...  and we wonder, indifferently, how much we have to do for Him to get by."

Do you ever think ... "How much do I need to do, 

                                      in order to make it to heaven?"

and ... "What do I have to give up, 

             in order to not spend eternity in hell?"

Or, do you think ... "What more can I do,  

                                    in order to please Him?"

and ... "What else can I give up, 

             in order to serve Him better?"

While both sets of questions focus on what we might need to do and what we might need to give up ... the perspective is completely different.

Sadly, many people see their Christian lives as a set of rules, and a few flexible boundary lines that they need to live within, in order to make it to heaven.

However, the holy God of the universe wants our hearts, our love, our lives.  God did not create His commandments in order to bring himself pleasure ... He created rules, guidelines, and boundary lines because He wants what is BEST for us ... for you and me.

If we TRULY love the Lord with all of our hearts, our souls, our mind, and our strength ... than we will WANT to live our lives as fully pleasing unto Him.  Our hearts' desire will be to love Him, to serve Him, to show Him all honor and glory with our lives.

If you are married ...

...  do you love your husband because 

     you read a book that told you to?

...  do you serve him because you signed

     a wedding vow promising you would?

...  do you do just enough for your marriage,

     that you hope he won't file for divorce?

...  do you talk politely to him when he is home,

     but bad mouth him when he is gone?

...  if others ask you about him, do you mumble

     something about "Yea, I love him."

Or ...

...  do you tell all of your friends what an

     amazing man he is?

...  do you get excited when you know he 

     will be home in a few minutes?

...  do you like to cook his favorite meal,

     just because he likes it?

...  are you excited to talk to him every day,

     and sleep in the comfort of his love every night?

Can you even comprehend that the Creator of the Universe ... loves you even more than your husband (or your mother & father) does?  Don't you think that He should be able to expect even more from you than your husband expects of you? 

If you TRULY love the Lord Jesus Christ, then ...

...  you will be excited to 

     tell all your friends about Him.

...  you will look forward to 

     spending time with Him every day.

...  you will look for ways to do 

     the things He has asked you to do,

     and you will WANT to do those things.

...  you will spend time with him before bed,

     and you will sleep in the comfort of His love.

I LOVE the LORD!!! 

I WANT to serve HIM. 

I DESIRE to do HIS will.

I can't help myself ...

I TALK about Christ, my first love ...

ALL the time.

I don't see life as a set of rules that have to be followed.

I walk through life actively seeking to KNOW His guidelines,

because I know they are His BEST for me and my family.

I NEVER think ...

"Can I still get to heaven if I do such and such?"  Never! 

My focus is NOT on how close I can get to hell, 

without getting burned.  

My focus is on how close I can get to heaven, 

while still living life on this earth.

The follow-up post is from April 24, 1009 ...

Two Perspectives

The other day, I wrote a post about What Do I Have To Do To Get To Heaven?  I had us look at two opposing perspectives on Christianity.

#1  How much do I need to do, 

      in order to make it to heaven?

      What do I have to give up, 

      in order to not spend eternity in hell?

#2  What more can I do, 

       in order to please Him?

       What else can I give up, 

       in order to serve Him better?

I finished the post by saying ...

My focus is not on how close I can get to hell, 

without getting burned.

My focus is on how close I can get to heaven, 

while still living life on this earth.

Today, I would like to take a closer look at some specific situations that those two perspectives might come into play.  Which side of each of these conversations would you be on?

Two Teenage Girls (or young adults)

talking about their boyfriends ...

I told my boyfriend we can do anything except,

"go all the way".

I told my boyfriend that I want to stay

pure for my future husband.

How far can we go and still be "pure"?

How pure does the Lord want us to be 

for our future husbands?  How pure would

our future husbands like us to be?

"Flee from sexual immorality. ... Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit? ...  Therefore honor God with your body."  1 Corinthians 6:18-20

Overwhelmed Mommies ...

I'm so FRUSTRATED.  I don't think there's anything

wrong with using a few bad words.

I want to  honor the Lord with my words, 

even when I'm frustrated?

But ... at least I didn't use the Lord's name in vain.

And ... I don't use the "F word".

I don't want my words to even show a hint 

of disrespect or dishonor.

"If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.  Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this ... to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."  James 1:26-27

Young ladies getting dressed for a blind date ...

What can I wear so that he will really take notice?

I want to honor the Lord with my attire?

I've worked so hard to keep my body looking good,

I'm proud to show it off.

I want to  look nice, yet not distract this young man's 

attention away from getting to know me 

(by focusing on my body instead of the conversation)?

"I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety ... appropriate for women who profess to worship God."  1 Timothy 2:9-10

Teens picking a movie to go to on Friday night.

We need to go see this one because 

EVERYONE says it's great.

Why is it rated PG13?

It only has bad words and a little violence,

there's no sex in it.

I want to keep my mind focused on things

that are pure and holy.

But it's just entertainment.

Would the Lord be laughing with us?

"Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy - meditate on these things."  Philippians 4:8

I hope that this post has encouraged you 

to see which perspective you usually use.  

I hope it has encouraged you to do the RIGHT thing ... 

even if your peers are pulling you in the opposite direction.

I hope this post has encouraged you to always want

God's very BEST for your life, rather than just trying to

do the minimal amount of "good works" to get by.

"I beseech you therefore, brethren ... do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God."  Romans 12:1-2

"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.  Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. ...  Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.  Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.  You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived.  But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as theses:  anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips."  Colossians 3:1-8

Marriage Mentors

Today's post in our Looking Back series is from January 2009 ...

Having a Good Marriage without Having Good Examples

Vicky asked a good question last week ...


Since you and Jim didn't come from good examples, how did you figure it out?


When people meet me, and hear about my wonderful family, they most often assume that Jim and I came from big, happy, Christian families. Nothing could be further from the truth. Neither Jim nor I were raised in happy or healthy homes. Jim's parents divorced when he was two. While my parents didn't divorce until I was fourteen, they have both assured me that their marriage was NEVER happy. Both of our mothers went on to further marriages and divorces. So, neither of us had any type of good relationship examples within our own homes.

However ... the Lord, in His great plan, gave us both wonderful examples in other beautiful Christian couples.

When I was a Senior in high school, I needed to move out of my family home. A friend of mine, and her family, invited me to live with them for the year. It was an amazing year for me. I saw, up close and personal, what a happy and healthy family looked like. I had a Dad & Mom who ...

... loved me.

... who loved each other.

... who communicated with me.

... who communicated with each other.

... who prayed with me.

... who prayed with each other.

and ...

... I had a "big brother" (age 20), who loved the Lord.

... I had my girlfriend (age 18), who I shared a room with, and did Bible Studies with.

... I had two "little sisters" (ages 2 & 5) who loved me, and who I could help care for.


God truly blessed me with this example of a healthy family and a good marriage. We are still very close to Dick & Helen, the parents (who love ALL of our children, dearly).


And Jim ... he, too, was blessed with a year in a Christian home. The year before we were married, George & Shirley invited Jim to live with them. He had the wonderful opportunity of observing their marriage, up close and personal, for a year.


Not only were Jim and I blessed with a year in these Christian homes, but we were also blessed to work for George & Shirley for the first two years of our marriage. Jim worked at George's neighborhood grocery store, while I worked for Shirley in the accounting department of a tool & die shop. So, we both had the opportunity for daily mentoring. Thank you Lord!


Now, I am fully aware that not everyone will have the opportunity to live with a Christian family for a year. But, I encourage all of you singles (and young couples) out there (who haven't had the best marriage examples growing up) to get to know some Christian families. Be bold and ..

... ask them to mentor you.

... ask if you can be involved with their families.



And ... for all of you that do have healthy Christian marriages ... invite some teens and single young adults (or young couples) to get involved in your lives ...

... Invite them to go on vacation with you.

... Invite them over for holidays.

... Invite them to join you for a Game Night.

... Invite them for dinner.

or ...

... Invite them to come live with you for a year.



Now, don't get me wrong, Jim and I are NOT involved in all of the young adults' lives that we're involved in, just because we want to minister to them. No ...

... we really enjoy them.

... they are our friends.

... they are our "adopted big kids".

... we love them as we do our own children.

... we hope to continue to be involved in their lives after they are married, and after they have kids.


We thank God for ALL of the "kids" that God has brought into our lives so that we can be examples ...

... for their lives.

... for their marriages.

... for their parenting.


And ... we thank God for giving us such wonderful examples 30 years ago, so that we could become examples for this generation of kids, teens, and young adults.


George & Shirley and Dick & Helen weren't just good examples 30 years ago ... they continue to be great examples for us today. George & Shirley have been married for 60 years, while Dick & Helen have been married for about 55 (I can't remember which year we attended their 50th party). Now ... those are good examples to follow. I pray that we can continue to be good examples for the next 25, 30, 35 ..... years.

Surviving a House Full of Little Ones

Today's post in my Looking Back series is from October 2008 ...

How Do I Retain My Sanity with 13 Children?

One of you wonderful readers asked this question recently, so I thought I'd take a look at it tonight ...


How do you retain a semblance of order, or your sanity, with so many children. I am holding on by a thread and I only have a 23 month old and a 4 month old.

Simple Answer: I don't. Most people would say that I am certifiably insane (without sanity) to have 13 children.

More Spiritual Simple Answer: Prayer


Don't you just love it when people come up with simple answers to your very serious questions, that you are looking for honest help with?

Seriously, I hear your heart's cry and I am sure that people have laughed off your question, or given you very spiritual answers. I remember clearly, when my life revolved around a houseful of little ones, the older adults at church who had absolutely no sympathy, caring, or understanding for the life I was living.

#1 Never quite worded this way, but so often I heard the attitude of "you dug your own ditch, now you have to lay in it". Basically, it's your fault that you have so many children ... it's your fault that they are so close in age ... it's your fault that life is hard, so don't expect any sympathy from the rest of us.

#2 The often heard ... "This too shall pass ... your kids will grow up ... I remember when my kids were little (as if their memory says that they never had days like I had) ... "

#3 When our church had great adult activities but didn't provide childcare ... "When your kids get older you'll be able to enjoy these times of fellowship ..."


When I heard these things, I promised myself that I would NEVER be so callous to young moms having a tough day/week/life ... I promised myself that I would ALWAYS remember these times, so that I could truly hear the heart's cry of young mamas ... I promised myself that I would do ANYTHING that I possibly could to help support and encourage those coming after me. Now ... 15+ years later, I have remembered those promises and kept each and every one.

So, I hear the words of this precious (slightly overwhelmed) mama ... and I remember ...

#1 It is not your "fault" that your children are so close in age ... it is God's wonderful blessing! I understand ... I remember ... I hear your heart and want to lift you up in prayer, and with practical support and encouragement.

#2 Yes, your kids will grow up. But, hopefully you'll have many more after this, so you won't forget what these days were like. I was a mother of preschoolers for 22 years. Praise the Lord!

#3 I completely understand that you need fellowship and support NOW ... not just after the kids grow up. Even if all I can offer and provide is a few words of encouragement on this blog ... I AM HERE FOR YOU !!!


Okay ... enough rambling and ranting ... time to get practical ...

#1 Prayer needs to be a priority. I am not suggesting that you have the time nor energy to spend an hour a day reading your Bible and praying (uninterrupted, of course). Your reality is ... sleep every possible minute that the children are sleeping. I remember ... I understand. However, prayer needs to be an all-day, every-day "talk to Jesus" time. Some of my most precious prayer times when I had 5 children under 5 years old, were in the middle of the night while nursing one twin after the other. I would sit in the dark, in my big rocking chair, in the corner of their nursery ... worshipping Jesus. I would pray while washing dishes, or folding clothes. I would pray while driving my big van (with kids worship music keeping the children entertained). I would pray while the children played at the park. Yes ... prayer needs to be a priority.

#2 Friendship & Fellowship: Even though life revolves around your little ones, you need "mommy-time" too. One of my most favorite times for many years was the fellowship I got at my local M.O.P.S. (Mothers of Preschoolers) group. I could take all my kids with me. There were wonderful nursery workers to play with my little ones (or my nursing infants could stay right with me). I heard great teaching times, enjoyed the small group discussions, and, most of all, enjoyed the craft time. This was the one time in my week that I could actually start a project and complete it in one sitting. I could proudly take home my completed project and feel like ... I accomplished something today. My husband probably sometimes thought that I was acting like a kindergartner (and I probably was). But ... I realized years ago why craft projects were so important to me, and I always encourage young moms to make time to do some.

#3 Craft Projects: With parenting ... the project is never completed. We hope and pray that our work will "look okay" after 18 years of refinement, but we also know there are never any guarantees. Day after day we work ourselves to the bone, with nothing to show for it. We can clean the house spotless, right before Daddy gets home. But, if he happens to be delayed by 30 minutes, he may never see the hard work we put into it. We spend our days cooking, cleaning, and raising children ... only to have to get up tomorrow and start all over. I found, many years ago, that craft projects provided a fulfillment that I couldn't find any place else. They helped me to keep my sanity ...


The interesting thing ... while all 3 of those things were very important to me with my house full of preschoolers ... they continue to be very important to me.

Prayer is still a HUGE part of my life. It still doesn't look quite like I "think it should", but my on-going, daily journey with Jesus is centered on prayer. He helps me to get through my days ... and, let me tell you, I still have "those days".

Friendship & Fellowship: Sadly, after 22 years, I am no longer a M.O.P. But, I still need my friends. As a homeschooling mama (with 7 still at home all day) I NEED time with adults. I need coffee dates, play dates with the kids, and scrapbooking days.

Crafts: I still get so much satisfaction from a completed project. I still act like a kindergartner when I come home with new completed scrapbooking pages. I LOVE my scrapbooking. I may go several months without working on them, but then I will set aside a day or two to crop with friends. Not only do I accomplish my project ... but I get hours and hours of "girl-talk" time. In the past 12 years, with a house FULL of kids and teens, I have completed sixteen 12x12 scrapbooks with approximately 45 pages each. If my house catches on fire ... they are the ONLY thing I would probably run back into my burning house to save (after, of course, I got the children and my hubby out).


I hope that you understand how important all 3 of those things are for you young mama's at home (and us not-so-young mama's at home). But, you may still be saying ... "What about NOW ... when I'm pulling my hair out?" Read the post below ...


As I was re-reading my ranting above, I realized that I needed to share that we have always had wonderful people surrounding us, loving us, encouraging us, ... in addition to the ones that didn't understand, etc... So, for all of you that read this and say, "Hey, I was her friend 15+ years ago ... THANK YOU for loving us, even though we were a crazy, overwhelmed family with "too many children we didn't know what to do".

I pray that all of you Young Mama's, will walk away ENCOURAGED today.  BIG  Bloggy-HUGS  for each of you ...

Carissa is On An Adventure

Our sweet daughter Carissa, who is a missionary in Argentina, could use our prayers this week and next.  She and 10 others missionaries from her YWAM base in Argentina traveled to Chile yesterday, to do earthquake relief work.  They will be working at the "Ground Zero" of the first quake.

Please pray for safety, as there are still many after-shocks taking place regularly.

Please pray for strength, as they work to rebuild houses.

Please pray for wisdom, as they minister to those who may have lost hope.

Please pray for finances, so that they can do all of the work that the Lord brings their way.

Please pray for unity of the team, as they will be working in what may be a very stressful situation.


While the Haiti earthquake media coverage was phenomenal (as it should have been), it seems that this Chile earthquake has practically been ignored.  The Chile quake was a MUCH stronger quake than the Haiti quake.  MANY homes have been destroyed.  MANY people are living in fear and hopelessness.  Carissa has seen recent pictures (from friends that are already in Chile) and she says that all she can relate it to is the devastation that our family witnessed when we traveled to New Orleans for Hurricane Relief work.

Thank you for lifting Carissa and her team up to the Lord this week.

God's Plans & Provision for Our Extra-Large Family

I'm taking a Blogging Break this week; as I am off on a short road trip to move dear son Joshua across the state to transfer to the University there.  The van is loaded, and tomorrow I will head out with the younger kids and head across the state.  I won't have internet access at the house we are staying; so, I'm not even taking my computer.  (I do think I'll be a little lost on a road trip without my trusty Purple & Black MacBook, though.)


Anyway, while I am gone, I thought it would be fun to re-posts some posts from years' past.  I have a LOT of new readers recently, and I think they might enjoy a week of "Getting to Know the Big D Family".


Today's post is from April 2008 ... 

A Mission Minded Family

I remember the comments people would make to me when we had 6 young children, and were surviving on a very small income.

"You'll never be able to provide for your large family on a teacher's salary."

"We only have 2 children so that we can provide all the extras: piano lessons, dance, etc..."

"How will you ever be able to pay for college for your kids?"

On and on and on they went ... it seemed that very few people could find a positive thing to say about our large family. (Thank you to those of you who DID support our choices back then.) And, much of the negativity was focused on the fact that they believed that Jim's teacher's salary wouldn't be sufficient to provide for all that our children would "need".

Yes ... things were tight. Yes ... there were months that our cupboards were nearly bare the last few days as we waited for the monthly paycheck. No ... our kids didn't get everything they wanted (but we did provide for their needs).

Today ... I sit in awe of ALL that the Lord has done ... the things He has provided ... the places He has taken our children.

Five of those children are now young adults (and #6 is in his 1st year of college). Four of the five have at least 2 years of college under their belts. The eldest chose the military rather than college (a choice we fully supported).

All of the children got their piano lessons. All of the children participated in choirs, drama, athletic teams, etc... Even with our small income, they all got to do the "things" that other kids did.

While, in some ways, our kids have lived a "typical" American child's life ... in other ways the Lord has taken them far beyond where their typical peers have gone. Many years ago, the Lord gave us a vision for missions. One year, our homeschool history class was focused on reading biographies of famous Believers, who had traveled the world for Christ (often sacrificing their lives for His cause). The books gave our children a view of the world far beyond what a typical history text would have given them. And, it gave them visions for where the Lord might take each of them.

We haven't taken vacations to Disney Land, but we have taken road trips to 35 states. We haven't taken them to Hawaii, but we have gone on mission trips to L.A. and to New Orleans.

I am reminiscing this week, because I now have 3 children in far-away lands. While Gregg is finishing up his time in Iraq this month, Carissa has just arrived this morning in Argentina. She is attending a YWAM DTS (discipleship training school) for 6 months. And, just hours before driving Carissa to the airport, we all said our good-byes to Lindsey, as she headed off to Germany for a 10 day mission trip with our church. Jeremiah and Josh are still home (the last of the "big kids"). While Josh will finish up 2 years of college while living at home, Jeremiah is working 2 jobs in order to put away enough money for 2 years in Amman, Jordan (leaving in August).

Who could have guessed, back when we could barely afford to drive to Oregon for summer vacation, where the Lord would be leading each of our children (not to mention Papa and Mama's recent trip to Africa)? Because of the significant costs associated with the adoption and travel to Africa, we haven't financially supported the older children's current travel abroad. However, they are hard workers; they have learned to save; and God has provided for each of them exactly what they have needed.

We stand in awe ... of God's calling on our family ... of the fact that we thought 6 kids was a "large family" (who would have guessed we would end up with 13) ... of God's plan to take our children all over the world for Him (Cassie started the trend, with trips to Haiti, Africa, and India) ... of God's faithfulness to provide for us the past 25 years ...

So fun to read this, and to see where the Lord has continued to lead our children over the past 2 years.  Gregg returned from Iraq ... lived at home for awhile ... and is now living in Texas. Cassie is still living and working in Oregon.  The Lord has blessed her photography business this year. Jeremiah spent a year in Jordan and is now home and completing his University degree.  Carissa is still in Argentina.  She went for "6 months" and has now been there 2 years.  Lindsey returned from that short trip to Germany, and then later went for another 3 months, followed by 3 months in India and Bangladesh.  Josh has completed his 2 year degree at the Community College, and is now headed to the University (to begin classes next week).  I still stand in AWE of the places that the Lord has taken our children, and what He has done in them and through them, as they live their lives in service to Him.

Now, another fun thing about going back to old posts, is that I can post some of the comments that were made.  Here are a few of my Big Kids thoughts about this original post, and the thoughts of one of our old "youth kids" from 15 years ago.

Cassie said ...

JUST FOR THE RECORD:

I NEVER ONCE FELT LIKE I DIDN'T HAVE WHAT OTHER KIDS HAD WHEN I WAS GROWING UP!!!!!

i was just talking to some gals at work today about growing up in my amazing family, and how even though dad was a teacher and mom was mostly a stay at home mom... i never felt like we were going to starve.... yes i was sick of chili and rice at one point, but i thought we ate it so much cause Dad and Gregg liked it... not because it was all we had and it was cheap.

People always ask me "how do you pay for all your trips?" and i answer, "i work hard and i pray hard." Ever since my first mission trip to Naches WA in 8th grade... Dad and Mom always encouraged us to work hard and pray hard... If God wants us there he will provide a way to get there. Even when i was on my DTS... i was secretly giving money to a girl headed to China, when i didn't even have all my money for Africa, cause i knew that God would make up the difference for me, but she didn't have as much home and church support as i knew i could get... ends up God totally took care of my outreach cost from other people on MY team to Africa! I also knew that coming back from africa with exactly 100 dollars to my name was no big deal for God... turns out within 3 weeks of being home i got my dream job at NCCTK!!!

WOW.... we sure do serve a BIG God who can accomplish BIG things if only we would be more available for him to stretch our faith while we walk in obedience.

way to GO my big amazing Greek family!
i love you all.

Gregg said ...

oh bye the way i love chili and rice...totally the best dinner/lunch ever made in the Big D. household!! oh mom, how i love the blog! it makes me think of when times were so much more simple and fun. but for all the things that our family has gone through, we have always enough love to make things much easier. i am glad that we grew up with just enough money to make us pray. i now see how God has blessed us with so much. all of us kids have learned what it takes...hard work, a will to complete something, and faith that God will give us just what we need. thanks for being a great mother and pops i would have never known the love of sports or the passion that come with that..so thanks!

Lindsey said ...

Wow... good post Mama!
And, yes! I totally agree with what Cassie said! I never felt like I didn't have as good enough a life as others, And so love having a BIG family!!

"Youth Group Kid" Jason said ...

Every large family I know is happier, more stable, and has more mature children than those with smaller families.

I remember going over to your house once and helping out for a day. When it was time to do chores each of your kids immediately went to their stations and began their duties like a well oiled machine - and they all had smiles on their faces.

I was utterly amazed and maybe a little embarrassed that your kids (who were 12 and under) had a few virtues that I lacked myself.

I knew at that time that you guys were doing something right (and different from what everyone else was doing). Now we see the fruit of it.

Thank you for your vision and example - showing parents like me what a blessing children can be when you focus on the things that really matter.

I hope you'll all enjoy this series of "Looking Back" this week ...