humbled ...

i just looked at my blog counter ...

i hit the 100,000 mark today ...

i know there are many blogs that hit that every month or every year ...

but, I am humbled to know that people logged onto my blog 100,000 times in the past 20 months or so ...

i'd love to hear from you today ...

why do YOU like to read my blog ???

what's your favorite blog topic on Mama D's blog ???

2 years ago, i knew that the Lord was calling me to a new time of ministry, but I had NO IDEA that it would be a blog ministry ... i am humbled ... and rejoicing that the Lord has chosen to use me in such a way ...

thanks for being a part of Mama D's Blog Family ...

Radical ... the Book

Oops ... I was going to tell you all about the book, Radical, in THIS post last week, but I got a little carried away in telling you how NOT NORMAL the Big D. Family is.  Sorry.


The premise of the book is that American Christians want to live the "American Dream".  However ... maybe that is NOT the life that the Lord has called us to live.  Maybe "living the American Dream" does not match up with how God's Word calls us to live.  What do you think?


Here are a few quotes from the book ...


"You and I can choose to continue with business as usual in the Christian life and in the church as a whole, enjoying success based on the standards defined by the culture around us.  Or, we can take an honest look at the Jesus of the Bible and dare to ask what the consequences might be if we really believed him and really obeyed him."  (page 3)


"I am concerned that all of us - pastors and church members in our culture - have blindly embraced an American dream mentality that emphasizes our abilities and exalts our names in the ways we do church.  ...  


First we need a good performance.  In an entertainment-driven culture, we need someone who can captivate the crowds.  If we don't have a charismatic communicator, we are doomed.  ...  


Next, we need a place to hold the crowds that will come, so we gather all our resources to build a multimillion-dollar facility to house the performance.  We must make sure that all facets of the building are excellent and attractive.  After all, that's what our culture expects.  Honestly, that's what we expect.  


Finally, once the crowds get there, we need to have something to keep them coming back.  So we need to start programs - first-class, top-of-the-line programs - for kids, for youth, for families, for every age and stage.  In order to have these programs, we need professionals to run them.


I know this may sound oversimplified and exaggerated, but are these not the elements we think of when we consider growing, dynamic, successful churches in our day?  ...  We Christians are living out the American Dream in the context of our communities of faith.  ...


But what is strangely lacking in the picture of performances, personalities, programs, and professionals is desperation for the power of God.  God's power is, at best, an add-on to our strategies.  I am frightened by the reality that the church that I lead can carry on most of our activities smoothly, efficiently, even successfully, never realizing that the Holy Spirit of God is virtually absent from the picture.  We can so easily deceive ourselves, mistaking the presence of physical bodies in a crowd for the existence of spiritual life in a community.


But when I open the book of Acts in the New Testament and observe the picture of the church there, I see such a different images.  I see a small band of timid disciples huddled together in an upper room.  They know God's power. ... What are they doing?  They are not plotting strategies.  They are "joined together constantly in prayer."  They are not busy putting their faith in themselves or relying on themselves.  They are pleading for the power of God and they are confident that they are not going to accomplish anything without his provision."  (pages 49-51)




So, what do you think?


What type of church do you attend?  In what ways do you see The American Dream played out in your church?  In what ways do you see a likeness to the small band of disciples desperate for God's power?


Now ... I do NOT want you to read this and think, "Oh ... my pastor shouldn't be doing such and such."  No.  This is NOT about the pastor.  The pastors of the churches that are fulfilling The American Dream are only doing so because the congregation is asking for it ... begging for the programs ... wanting the professionals to do all the work ... "needing" their "house of worship" to look "perfectly put together".


And ... you certainly don't have to agree with the full perspective of Radical, either.  My husband is a "good communicator", a "good preacher".  We believe this is important for our church.  While we were meeting in a little country grange hall earlier this year, and moved to the local school on Easter, we still want our church to "look nice".  We spent money on some beautiful banners, to liven up the school cafeteria.  We want things to be attractive.  That, too, is important to us.  We have a "program" for children on Sunday morning.  We have Bible Study "programs" for the ladies, and small groups for men and small groups for any adult.  We believe those "programs" are important.  But ... where do you find the balance?  

In what ways do you see The American Dream played out in your own walk of faith?  In what ways can you relate to the small band of disciples?  (Ouch!  Tough question!)

Don't worry.  I'm not pointing fingers.  I am asking myself these tough questions, right along with you.  (And, pointing fingers at myself while I read.)

There is so much more to share from this book.  I hope we can get some good discussion going about some of the tough topics that David Platt addresses in Radical.

Stay tuned, for more from Radical ...

Thank You Lord ... for This Year.

It's been a year ... 

a full year ... 

since our Crisis began.  

A year of unimaginable heartache.  

A year of hope.  

A year of pain.  

A year of dreams.  

A year of tears.  

A year of smiles.  

A year of friends lost.  

A year of friends gained.  

A year, filled with the love of Christ, as He ...

... walked us through The Crisis.

...  showed us a faint light at the 

end of a very dark tunnel.

...  wiped away the tears.

... gave us new hopes and dreams.

...  showed us His everlasting grace.

...  showed us how to give 

His grace to others.

...  showed us His love 

through the arms of others.

... showed us how to share 

His love with others.

Thank you Lord ...

...  for growing us through the pain.

...  for leading us to the most amazing 

Little Church on the Island.

... for guiding us as we have walked

 each step of this most difficult journey.

Thank you Lord ...

...  for your shoulder to cry on.

...  for your arms wrapped around us.

...  for your strength to carry on.

...  for your light to shine the way.

...  for your love to pull us through.

Thank you Lord!!!

Missing Papa

Oh how we are missing Papa on Father's Day.

Happy Father's Day

to the most AMAZING

Papa, Husband, and 

Very Best Friend!!!

Papa is on the island, preaching today ... 

while his family is at home without him.

Mama is drinking an Iced Raspberry Mocha,

and wishing she could make one for Papa.

We Miss You, Papa!

We Love you ...

To The Moon & back!!!

The Relay Race

At Monday's Summer Track Meet (see post below), Hosanna taught the Young Ones how to run a Relay Race.  So cute!   So fun!

Practicing

The Race Is On ...

Rachel hands off to Elijah.

Elijah hands off to Josiah.

Josiah hands off to Hosanna.

Way to Go, Big D. Team!!!

Summer Track Season

We live 25 minutes from the City of Bellingham; and we sometimes appreciate the opportunities that a bigger city can provide.

Every year, there is a Summer Track Season for ALL AGES.  (Seriously ... they have 2-4 year olds racing, and jumping mini hurdles; while there are also competitive races with 60+ year olds.)  It's called the All-Comers Track Meets, and they take place every Monday night for the whole summer.  Much fun!

Here are a few pics from our first Summer Track Meet of the 2010 season ...

Elijah

Rachel

Josiah

Sarah

Hosanna

Ben couldn't join us, because he had Driver's Ed.  So sad!

The next pics are of the Jogger's Mile.  This is for any age and all ages ... running together.  As you will see, my Young Ones are not at all intimidated by the "old guys".  (So NOT talking about you, Bob.)

Elijah told me the next day, "Mom, I knew I had to start out with the old guys (rather than the other little kids) because I knew I could run with them."  Oh yea!  You go, boy!!!  The past couple of years he has had Josh, Ben, and their friends to keep pace with, so he had to learn to set his own pace this week.  Guess he decided these guys looked like the crowd to keep up with.

While all of the kids did their very best on the mile,

Elijah is our little Energizer Bunny.  He stayed up with "the guys".

This is the 2nd lap.  

Elijah looks like he's having more fun than the guy next to him.

Do you like his Camo Converse High-Tops?

On the 3rd lap, he made this face ...

just to make me think he was working hard.

Elijah (age 8) finished the mile in 7:49.

Not his best time, but pretty good for the first race of the season.

Rachel (age 8) wasn't far behind, at 8:20.

We had an extra special time at this week's meet,

because we got to play with some friends that we

haven't played with in a couple of years.  The

kids were so excited to see each other, 

and to run with each other.

While Elijah can be a serious mile runner,

he has just as much fun playing with little ones.

We are definitely looking forward to more fun

at the track, throughout the summer.

Not Normal

Have any of you read the book, Radical, yet ... by David Platt?  (I mentioned purchasing it in THIS blog post last month.)


Wow!  It is an AWESOME book!  While Papa and I have lived a very radical lifestyle for the past 28 years; it's always good to read a book that supports the lifestyle we have chosen to live.  You know ... the lifestyle that doesn't quite "fit" the mold of "Successful American Family".  Nope.  We don't really fit into any mold.


One time, after phoning the police because our children were outside playing after 10:00 on a summer Saturday night, a neighbor told a local police officer (who happened to be a friend of ours) that it "wasn't normal for the children to be outside so late".  I had to laugh as I told our police officer friend that we never claimed to be "normal".  Nope.  Not the Big D. Family.  We are definitely "Not Normal".




We have a dozen children.  Nope.  Not normal.


We adopted 3 children from Africa.  Not normal.


We don't have much of a savings account, and no IRAs (whatever those are).  Not normal.


We don't have any credit cards.  Definitely not normal.


We don't have any car loans.  Not normal.


Our newest car is 7 years old (which we really think of as the "new" one).  Not normal.


Our teens still drive Grandpa's 1988 Honda Accord, which only has about 130,000 original miles on it (because Grandpa purchased it brand new when he was 70).  So NOT the normal teen car.


We encourage our kids to travel the world to serve the Lord, even to "unsafe" places.  Not normal.


We encourage our 21 year old daughter to live across the world, in Argentina, for however many years the Lord calls her to live there.  So. Not. Normal.


We encourage our sons to join the military, even knowing they will be going to war.  Not normal.


Papa quit his safe and secure job in the middle of a "bad economy".  Not normal.


Papa gave up health insurance for his family, when he quit his secure job.  Not normal.


Papa moved to a little island to pastor a little church without a guaranteed salary.  Certainly not normal.




Our neighbor called us, "Not normal."


Many have called us, "Crazy."


Some have called us, "Radical."




And ... we will proudly claim all 3 titles.  


We are "not normal", and we have absolutely no desire to be a "normal, American family".  


We are "Crazy".  Yes, we are crazy in love with the Lord Jesus Christ, and all that He has called us to be and to do.


We are "Radical" because the Lord Himself has called us to live a radically different lifestyle.  We wouldn't want it any other way.




I just wanted to let you know that, while we have been praying for this part-time teaching position, in order to supplement Papa's teaching salary ... we are NOT discouraged.  We are NOT depressed.  We KNOW that we are walking in the Lord's will and that HE has a great and mighty plan for our lives.  He will continue to provide for us financially. (While we need to continue to seek His wisdom in all financial decisions. )  He will show us what our next step is to be.  He will provide for us if and when our savings account is gone.

Our trust is not in Papa's job.

Our trust is not in a 2nd job.

Our trust is not in a savings account.

Our trust is not in credit cards.

Our trust is in Jesus Christ.  


He is our Guide.


He is our Provider.


He is our Strength.


He is our Hope.

We will walk where He calls us to walk, and do what He calls us to do, no matter how RADICAL that may seem to "normal" Americans.  

Nope.  We are NOT normal.

Oh. So. Hard.

Papa did not get the part-time job that he interviewed for the other day, the teaching job which would have supplemented our pastoral salary.  We are back to square one.  However, this time we are at square one without a savings account to draw from each month.  Please pray for wisdom and guidance as we continue to seek the Lord's will and direction for our family.

Summer Fun at the Hood Canal

We FINALLY got some HOT summer weather last weekend.  (Well ... low 70's was still hot for us, up here in the Pacific NW.)  We were definitely ready for some family fun with friends.  Yippee!!!

Our friends' cabin is 3 1/2 hours from our place, but we ended up taking 3 cars just to get us there for the weekend.  Mama and the 6 youngest stayed from Friday evening until Sunday evening.  Papa came out Friday evening until Saturday afternoon.  (Then ... he missed the last ferry back to the island on Saturday night, and had to preach Sunday morning.  Oops!)  Lindsey couldn't come out on Friday, but she drove out Saturday morning, and stayed until Sunday afternoon.  Our friends also had to take 2 cars to accommodate young adult schedules.  But, we did end up getting 15 of us all there at the same time.  We have been friends with this dear family since before we were married (and that was a VERY long time ago).  They have 5 kids who match up pretty well with age and gender of our #2 - #8 kids.  So, we thoroughly enjoy our time together!

Here are a few pics ...

The View from the Front Porch

Elijah learns how to row.

Rachel does any "trick" that Ben tells her to.

Josiah wants to jump, too.

Sarah enjoys inner-tubing.

What's wrong with this picture?

Is Hosanna supposed to be wearing her glasses?

Big Brother Ben relaxes.

Ben & Rachel do more tricks.

Lindsey & her friend Lynne have fun on the tubes.

A fun time was had by all.

Jag. Family ... our kids were BEGGING to "go visit our Blog Friends", but we needed to drive around this time, rather than taking the ferry.  We would love to get together to play for a day, though.

Critical Brain Development in the Early Years: A Piece of the Puzzle in Older Child Adoption

Something I recently read ...


"Children that have experienced a rough start, typically but not limited to, their first three years in life are at risk of not developing critical parts of their brain, especially the frontal lobe that is concerned with higher emotions, trust, cause and effect thinking and remorse. Instead, their brains become maladaptive and instead of trust there is fear. Instead of remorse there is anger. Instead of love there is selfishness. And it's all in efforts to protect themselves."




Clearly, this is what we are dealing with ...


"Instead of trust, there is fear."


How can our sweet girl learn to trust us, after being used and abused by those that she has wanted to trust over the years?


How can we break through the fear, to teach her what trust is?


While we have seen MUCH progress in this area over the past 2 years, there is still so very far to go.


She came to us with her heart clearly wrapped tight in concrete.  


As soon as the truth of The Crisis (see archives) was out, we saw layers of concrete starting to peal away.  


As soon as J. moved to a respite home, we saw more layers pealing away.  


As soon as we moved to the island, we saw even more layers being released.  


Yet ... our Little Miss still keeps her heart solidly hidden most of the time.  She doesn't want anyone to see it.  She doesn't want to let anyone in.  


Yes, there is still fear, where trust should be.




"Instead of remorse, there is anger."


Oh so true.


If my young boys get into trouble for something, remorse and repentance are quick to follow.  They know they have done wrong.  They know that they want to be in right relationship with Papa and Mama, and with God.  Their hearts are truly repentant, usually within minutes of doing something they shouldn't do.


However ...


When Little Miss gets into trouble ... watch out.  Anger most often follows any type of reprimand (even a gentle reminder about school work).  Little Miss does NOT like to be reprimanded in any way.  Within seconds, we can usually see a dramatic attitude change ... and NOT towards remorse and repentance.  Oh no!  


Little Miss pulls all of those layers of concrete back over her heart.  She is not about to let her little heart get hurt again.


She won't answer questions.


Her eyes glaze over.  (And, soon, big crocodile tears may roll silently down her cheeks.)


Nope.  No remorse or repentance to be found.


How do you teach this?  


How do you break through the concrete-encased heart?


We continue to pull her close and tell her we love her.  


We are waiting on the Lord to work a miracle in Little Miss' little heart.




"Instead of love, there is selfishness."


Love?  


I don't think that my Little Miss really knows what that means.


We try to tell her.


We try to show her.


If we look her in the eye and say, "I love you." she will obediently respond with, "I love you, too."  But, clearly they are just words that she has learned.  There is no emotion behind the words ... no warmth behind her embrace.  (Have you ever hugged a 2x4?)


Our hearts go out to her.  


Our love for her so deep.  


Our desire for her to know and understand love so strong.  


Yet ... we continue to wait for her heart to be ready to let us in.


We are praying for God's miracle for our Little Miss.




"Cause & Effect Thinking"


Oh my!


This is what I talked about in Parenting The Older Adopted Child a couple of weeks ago ... and Revisiting the Preschool Years last week.


Little Miss fell face first out of the van, and didn't put her arms out to protect herself.


Little Miss was swinging standing up, when she decided to just sit down (without stopping the swing first).  Yes.  She fell.


The kids dropping their water glasses onto concrete floors in fancy restaurants.


J. throwing a rock at a bird ... when the bird was right in front of a big bedroom window.


Sarah hitting a baseball towards the family room window.


The kids dropping breakable things ... glass canning jars, milk jugs, eggs, etc...  


No Cause & Effect thinking.  


How do you teach this?


Is it possible to re-train their brains?




Papa and I are praying for wisdom, that the Lord would show us if there is anything that we can do to help Little Miss' brain to compensate for the lack of development from her early years.  


So sad.  


So hard.

A Job Possibility

Papa has a job interview tomorrow (Tuesday at 2:00 pm), and we would REALLY appreciate your prayers.


The interview is for a part-time teaching position.  (Papa was a teacher for 21 years before becoming a pastor this year.)


If Papa were to get this part-time teaching job, than we could afford to live on the island (where our church is).


Please pray ...


... for God's favor.


... for the Lord's will to be done.


... for peace for me and Papa.




Thanks!

Living with RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder)

Lisa wrote a blog post today, about Mixed Emotions.  It is a heart-felt post about her feelings as they "celebrate" 5 years since they brought their son home.  Five years of struggles and hardship.  Five years of calling out to God as they've walked their most unimaginable journey.  Five years of walking towards that light at the end of the tunnel ... the hope that only Christ can give.


Here are a few excerpts from Lisa's post ...




(I'm) thankful that God has enough belief in us to parent this child.  Thankful for those little glimmers of hope we see in him as we journey this path.


On the other hand, I'm sad.  Sad for all the loss, heartache, and pain we, as a family, have had to endure because of this disease.  Sad that some of our dreams for Connor have had to die because he just won't be able to achieve them, bar a miracle from God.  Sad that many of our days are tainted with lies, disobedience and aggressions from this child.  Sad that our bond of trust in him still hasn't been established because of his lies and deceitfulness. ... Welcome to the world of RAD.


I think it's okay for my emotions to be mixed.  It's been quite a ride these last 5 years with Connor.  Oh boy, has it!  I won't lie and say that I've been the ideal mom for this job, because I haven't been. ... I've put walls around my heart and kept him at a distance because I didn't want to be hurt yet again.  I've questioned God, myself and Sean (my husband). ... My momma guilt is heavy, trust me on that.


But, in saying all that, I realize that God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called. ... He is equipping us mostly with fortitude to stay the course even when our flesh is crying out to quit.  Do you know how hard it is to love someone who constantly lies, hurts, and disobeys?!  Well, God does.  And He is teaching us how ... slowly but surely.


...  instead of shouting WE MADE IT! I think I'll just spend time on my knees worshipping the One who brought us to this and is carrying us through.  And, we'll join hands and pray over Connor that God would continue the good work He has started in him and bring it unto completion, in Jesus' name. AMEN!




I hope you will pop on over ... read a bit more of Lisa's story ... give Lisa a word or two of encouragement ... and say a prayer for this precious family.


Do any of you have children who struggle with RAD?  I'd love to hear a bit of what your biggest challenges are.  Let's share our stories.  Let's continue to support each other.


If you haven't read the comments from yesterday's blog post, I hope you'll jump into the discussion.