Choosing to Love ... Despite the Pain

I have been corresponding with a young woman who is also walking through a serious Marriage Crisis.  I believe that the encouragement that I gave to her yesterday, is also meant for some of you.  It is something that we all need to think about ... to process ... whether married or not ... 

Do we have any relationships 

that we just don't "feel" like fixing?

This young woman shared with me ...


"I wish I had your attitude. You have been hurt, but WANT to fix your relationship. I feel like I HAVE to fix it, even though I don't want to. I know I'm SUPPOSED to."




My response to her ...


"It is 100% natural for you to NOT want to fix things.  You are hurt.  You are angry.  You don't want to be hurt again.  I TOTALLY understand your FEELINGS.  I have felt that way ... but the Lord has told me from Day #1 of Our Crisis that I need to LOVE Jim and that I need to be COMMITTED to him.  So, I am choosing to love.  I am choosing commitment.  Even when I don't FEEL it."




Now, this is NOT to say that I have not felt love for Papa in the past 6 weeks.  No.  Not at all.  There are many days where I am FILLED to overflowing with my love for him (the love that the LORD has given me for my husband).  There are many days that I FEEL that Papa loves me.  However ... there are also days that I don't "feel the love" for Papa, and I am sure there are days when Papa doesn't feel much love for me either.  (It's probably pretty hard to unconditionally love your wife when she is choosing to sit in a Mud Puddle.)




I went on to share with this young wife and mother ...


"Even though today you probably cannot imagine loving your husband again ... I want to encourage you to CHOOSE to treat him in a loving manner ... to CHOOSE to go to counseling with the HOPE and TRUST that the LORD can do a mighty work in you and through you."




Are any of you in a relationship that you just don't FEEL like fixing?  With your husband ... or your mother ... or your sister or brother?  I hope that you will CHOOSE to ask GOD to help you know what to do about this relationship.  I pray that you will make the CHOICE to love unconditionally ... even if that love is not returned.


I believe that the LORD wants to bring HOPE and RESTORATION to relationships ... and He is waiting for US to make the right choice.


Today ... I am going to CHOOSE to love Papa, even though he hurt me deeply ... again ... just yesterday ... even though I woke up FEELING not much love for him.


You know what ... God spoke to me as He had me write this post.  He worked in my heart ... to encourage me ... even as I thought I was writing to encourage you.


After I wrote this post, I was going to take a drive ... to disappear for the afternoon ... to find a cave to hibernate in.  I probably would have nonchalantly told Papa, "see you later", with plans to stay gone for hours.


But, as I wrote this post, the Lord changed my feelings ... He brought back the LOVE ... He showed me that I need to FORGIVE yesterday's hurt and pain. Gosh ... I really was looking forward to sitting in my pain today.  Have you ever felt that way?

I must go find Papa now.  

I will CHOOSE to forgive him.  

I will pull him close.

I will tell him that I LOVE him.

Praising Jesus for the continuing work that He is doing in my life!  I hope you will ask Him to work in your heart, too.  It FEELS good!