PRAISING JESUS!

In the midst of my WHIRLWIND today (see post below) ...

our mail came early ...

there was a letter from the I.R.S. ....

I seriously considered NOT opening it ...

I did not want to even THINK about having
to gather all of the documentation for the
Adoption Tax Credit ...

as we have LOST a very important
file folder with all of our info. ...

but, I slowly pulled the letter out of the envelope ...

it read ...



"We believe there's a miscalculation on your 2010 form which affects the following ______.  We made the changes to your return that correct this error.  (Which is a couple thousand dollars I discussed with them last week.) If you agree with the changes we made, you should receive a refund for $__________ in 4-6 weeks."


It would APPEAR that we will receive our Adoption Tax Credit without an audit, or any further documentation required.  Yippee!  Yahoo!

I am cautiously optimistic ... but still a little scared, as I don't completely trust the IRS on this matter.

Lost in a Whirlwind

Yikes!  My brain is spinning.  It's amazing how quickly plans can change with the Big D. Family.


A month or so ago, Cassie asked if I could meet her in Bend, OR this week (450 miles away) to work on wedding stuff.  (She is currently living in MN, but getting married in OR in July.)  I couldn't commit to making plans because of our financial situation (gas will cost over $100, plus food, etc.) and because of the unknowns of post season track.  (Would Ben be running at State, or not?  Would Hosanna make it to Districts, or not?  What will Carissa's plans be once she is home from Argentina?)


Last night, my calendar looked pretty good for the week.


Monday ... nothing scheduled, except for paperwork stuff to catch up on.


Tuesday ... Hosanna's track meet


Wednesday ... nothing scheduled, except to clean house, etc... 


Thursday to Saturday ... State Track




Then, last night I talked to Cassie.  At about midnight, I decided it would be really good if I could try to make the drive to Bend on Tuesday, and back up for State Track on Thursday. I would at least have all day Wednesday to help Cassie. With our partial tax refund last week, I could now afford the gas.


This morning, at 9:00, I talked to Papa about it (as he was fast asleep last night when I realized I should try to make the trip).  We agreed that I should go, and that I would take the 2 little guys.  No problem.  Papa would be here with the other kids.


Not 5 minutes after making the decision to leave this afternoon, instead of tomorrow ... Papa got a phone call.  He had interviewed for a painting job on Saturday, and the owner of the company called this morning and wanted him to start work immediately.


Yikes!  We NEED this job, but our plans just all got thrown up in the air.


Who would be here with the children while Papa was at work?
Who would drive Ben and Hosanna to track?
What could Sarah and Rachel do during track?


"What about Vicky?" you ask.  Of course not.  After living here for most of the past 6 months, and being an AMAZING Mary Poppins, she is moving out at the end of the week and she started a new job TODAY.


"How about Carissa?" you ask.  Oh. My. No.  She, too, had a job interview on Saturday; and she, too, started work TODAY.


Can you believe it?!?!  Papa, Vicky, and Carissa all started new jobs TODAY.  Ben and Hosanna BOTH made it into post season track (when the season is over for most every other track athlete).  Which ... leaves ... Mama ... in ... charge.


I called a couple of friends to see if the girls could go play for a couple of hours.  But ... no answer.


New Plan:


Mama will take Ben and Hosanna to track practice at 2:30.


Mama will come home and take a nap from 3:00-4:00.


Mama will pick the kids up from track at 4:30.


Mama and the boys will be ON THE ROAD by 5:00 ... hoping to arrive in Bend by 1:00 am.




To add to the whirlwind ...


...  Mama needs to proofread 4 cover letters 
      that Papa needs to get in the mail 
      for potential teaching jobs.


...  Mama needs to handwrite one of Papa's
      applications (because Mama's handwriting
      is neater than Papa's).


...  Mama hadn't washed her laundry in over a week,
     and now she is leaving for 6 days.  So, the
     washing machine is FULL of Mama's dirty clothes.


...  Mama is trying to plan food for her trip to Bend,
     and also plan food for the family trip to State Track.


...  Phones are ringing.


...  Kids are asking questions.


...  Mama MUST stop and make a few lists,
     before her BRAIN EXPLODES.




Off to fill out an application ... proof read cover letters ... pack food and clothes ... try not to forget the camera, Mama's medicine, cell phone chargers, etc ...


Looks like Mama has started her list.  (smile)




Hope you all have a BLESSED week!  I'll catch up with you "from the road".




* * * Update * * *


Yikes!   What a day!!!  With no nap this afternoon ... it is now 5:20 pm and I am just now leaving for a 450 mile drive.  Please pray for me this evening, as I will be heading across a mountain pass LATE tonight.  Thanks!!!

Parenting an Attachment Traumatized Child

I very rarely put videos on my blog.

I very rarely ask you to spend a few

minutes watching a video.

But, I want to ask you now ...

PLEASE take 7 minutes to watch this.

And, PLEASE pass it along.

It is critical for the life of families that

are raising children with traumatized attachment 

disorder, that others begin to understand what life

is like behind the closed doors of their homes.

It is imperative that friends, pastors, teachers,

and extended family members stop placing

blame on the adoptive parents, and start

supporting, helping, and encouraging.

It is crucial that adoption agencies begin

to tell the truth to potential adoptive parents;

that they prepare parents for the trauma

that might come home with their child;

that they help and support these families

after the children are brought home.

Thanks you.

***  Please don't get defensive ***

I KNOW that some adoptive parents probably 

are to blame for some of their children's issues.

I KNOW that some adoptive agencies are 

very good at preparing families, and are

supportive of families after the children come home.

However, there are many that are not.

State Track? Yes!

We will be headed to the STATE TRACK MEET next weekend to cheer Ben and the boys on as they run the 4 x 400 Relay.  Yippee!  (And, the other 3 boys on the team will each be competing in 2 events at State.)


They ran an AMAZING race tonight at the District Meet, placing 2nd with a Personal Record time of 3:24.9 (a full 7 seconds faster than their previous P.R.).  They are going into the State Meet with the 2nd fastest time in State.  Wow!!!


Mama actually put her camera away before this last race, so that she could  sit and cheer quietly  jump up and down ... yell ... clap her hands ... and just plain act a little crazy (with no care in the world for those that may be judging her).


Now, Mama may have been a bit excited ... but she wasn't cheering nearly as wildly as Papa.  He yelled louder, jumped higher, and had tears in his eyes as the boys ran the best race of their lives.


Just call us crazy!  That's okay.  I was never a cheerleader in high school, but I can certainly be a Cheerleading Mama.

Spring Sports Update

We interrupt our regular scheduled programming for a Spring Sports Update. While the main focus of this blog is to be a ministry of encouragement, and a place to share our Daily Journey of Faith, it is also our Family Journal, and a place to share pics of the kids with all of our Big Kids who are living across the country and around the world. Sorry for the interruption. You are more than welcome to read our Sports Updates, but you will need to stay tuned for the next episode of Our Journey of Faith.

While I am taking a break from any serious blogging topics this week, I do need to get the Sports Updates out for my Big Kids.

This Week in Sports ...

Tuesday:

3:30  Hosanna's Track Meet -

        she set a personal record in the

        

        200m with a 3rd place finish of 30.37,

        

        and qualified for next week's

        Middle School League Meet.

5:00  Sarah's Baseball Game

6:15  Josiah's Baseball Game

        (the last game of the season)

6:15  Elijah's Baseball Game

        (the last game of the season)

       Elijah was so excited that he had to have

       a make-up game due to rain, so that

       Big Sister Carissa could be here to 

       watch him play.  We are LOVING having

       Carissa home from Argentina, for the first 

       time in 1 1/2 years.

Wednesday:

3:30  Ben's District Semi-Finals Track Meet -

        There were 16 competitors for each event,

        and the top 8 move on to the Finals on Friday.

        200m  *  23.91  *  8th place

       4 x 100 Relay  *  44.25  *  2nd place

       4 x 400 Relay  *  3:33.57  *  4th place

        (4th place without their #1 runner,

          who has been fighting an injury)

       Ben placed in the Top 8 in all 3 events,

       so he will be moving on to the finals in all 3.  

       Yippee!  We are so proud of Ben, and all

       of the hard work he has done on the track

       this season.

       After Friday's meet, the Top 3 advance

       to the State Meet next weekend.

       We are hoping that both relay teams

        will qualify for the State Meet.  

4:00  Sarah missed baseball practice

        because we were at the track meet.

Thursday:

5:00  Sarah's Baseball Game

        (the last game of the season)

Friday:

5:00  Ben's District Finals Track Meet

        We are hoping and praying for good weather,

        no injuries, and smooth hand-offs in the relays.

It has been a FULL week of Spring Sports ...

but we are having FUN!!!  

Tomorrow's Track Meet will be EXCITING!!!

Who Am I ?

I may need to take a break from blogging for awhile.
It may be for a day or two.
It may be for a week or two.


I have been made aware of some serious concerns
that some of you readers have, and this has caused
me to become very introspective.




I'm really struggling to figure out who I am ...


...  am I really a rotten wife who has
     caused all of my marriage problems?


...  am I really a "drama queen"?


...  am I an overbearing and controlling mother?


...  am I a "whiner" who is always complaining
     about everything that is wrong in my life?


...  am I really my "own worst enemy"?


...  who am I?




I wonder ...


...  how does my husband really see me?


...  how do my children really see me?


...  how do my friends really see me?


...  who am I?




Have the trials of the past 3 years changed 
me into someone I don't even know?  


Have I really become such a negative person, 
but don't even see it?


Is my "big, happy family" just an act?




I struggle with even writing this ... with sharing these thoughts ... because I seriously am NOT writing this in order for you to write sweet comments.  


I am writing to share why 
my blog may be quiet for awhile.  


I am writing to ask for prayer, as I come to terms 
with the question of "Who am I?"


But, in writing this post, one of my readers is now nodding her head, because I have just confirmed to her that I am ...


"a very insecure woman, who needs to feed her self-worth from the comments you receive. which almost always bolster up "poor" Laurel."


Ugh!  It's a no-win situation.  I do appreciate when I get positive comments.  But, I also take seriously the comments and/or private emails that point out concerns to me.  I take each concern very seriously.  I want to hear from you ... I want to learn from you.


I don't want my blog to become a place where readers shake their heads and think, "She's really messed up."  or  "She is certainly not walking out her faith."  Oh. My. No.


When I started this blog, the purpose was to share our adoption journey with friends and family.  I had never read a blog before.  I had absolutely no idea that I would find such an amazing network of women who support and encourage each other.


After we brought the children home from Ghana, I decided to continue the blog, but to change the focus.  My heart's desire was to encourage and support other women in their journey of faith ... as they adopted, as they homeschooled, as they parented large families, as they walked the road of singleness.  And, I do believe that my goals were accomplished.  I have received many, many emails from women sharing that their lives have been deeply touched by things I written here.




Now, however, I am left to wonder ...


...  am I no longer meeting those goals?


...  have the trials of the past few years taken
     so much out of me, that I am no longer the
    encourager that I so desire to be?


...  has my blog changed, without me being aware?


...  have I changed, without me being aware?


...  have I somehow become someone
     that I don't even recognize?


...  Who am I?




I am praying that the Lord will clearly reveal to me the specific areas that I most need to make changes in, and that He will lead me and guide me as I seek to become the woman that He created me to be.


I know that I have often failed as a wife.
I know that I have often failed as a mother.
I know that I have often failed as a godly woman.


I pray that the Lord will take all of my failures,
and somehow use them for His glory and purpose.


I pray that He will renew and restore my ministry
as an encourager of women ... 


that He will allow
me to return to my blog with ... 


...  a new vision 


...  a new passion


...  a new heart


...  a new voice




I sincerely apologize to those of you who have been hurt or offended by the direction that my blog has taken.  I ask that you forgive me.  I ask that you pray for me, as I take a quiet walk on my own Journey of Faith ... as I seek the Lord's answer to my question, "Who am I?"

Christmas in May ???

We all had FUN tonight.

We opened packages.

We played with new toys.

Why?

How?

What?

In Washington State, homeschooling families can enroll

in Parent Partnership Programs with some of the local

school districts.  One of the benefits of such programs,

is that you get some stipend funding to help

pay for curriculum, field trips (like our recent trip to 

the Science Center in Seattle), art projects, etc...

So, a couple of times per year, Mama places an online order,

and it seems like Christmas at the Big D. house.

Tonight, we got ... 

New Games

Construction / Design Projects

Kitchen Science

A New Business Class for Ben

An Art Curriculum & Painting Supplies

Art Projects for the Teens & Adults Young Ones

(Seriously ... this stuff is REALLY cool!)

We also got new Math Curriculum for Sarah and Ben,

and a new Health Class for Ben and Hosanna.

Some of these projects we will start now.

Some things we will work on this summer.

Some things we will keep for the fall.

But, no matter when we start with each

project or curriculum, it is always fun

to open the big boxes to find all sorts

of new educational activities and supplies.

A Great Game of Golf

More Pics 

of 

Mother's Day Fun

We divided into 3 groups,

each playing 1 hole ahead 

of the next group:

Josh, Hosanna, & Elijah

Ben, Hannah, Sarah, & Rachel

Papa, Mama, Gregg, & Josiah

Mama played in the last group,

with my camera around my neck,

and my purse over my shoulder

(to put the camera in when it rained).

I ran back and forth between the groups,

taking pictures,

between each turn,

and I still played a GOOD game of golf.

Papa & Gregg

Excited about the First Hole

(They were a little worried about Mama's competition,

when I scored a par on the first 3 holes, while carrying

all of my extra "baggage", and they did not score pars.)

Gregg ...

The Most Competitive of the Big Boys

(However, they are all so competitive, that 

they are going to argue the point, and 

compete for the title of "Most Competitive".) 

Josh ...

Actually Serious for a Moment ???

Hannah ...

Definitely looking a Bit Discouraged after her Last Shot.

Ben ...

One of the Big Kids, even though 

he has a year of high school left.

Hosanna ...

Enjoying the Game with her Brothers.

Sarah ...

Looking Cute in her New 'Fro

(Mama's been a bit too busy to put

in 100 more Yarn Braids.)

*****

Sadly ... Mama did not get any 

good golfing pics of Josiah.

He was with us.  

He was certainly enjoying himself.

Sorry, Josiah!

*****

Rachel ...

Trying Hard to do well in this New Game.

Elijah ...

Showing Amazing Concentration for 

a young boy who definitely has a

bit of hyperactivity in his bones.

Elijah ...

Earning the Award for 

Most Unique Putting Style

Look at the position of his hands

and the head of his club.

"Whatever Works!"

"Aaahhhhhh....."

(Papa & Gregg ... in unison)

Elijah's put didn't make it into the hole.

A Fun Time Was Had By All

See ... 

Josiah was with us ... 

the little guy with the 

Toy Shop Mustache

that his Big Brother bought for him.

For those of you who are wondering ...

since one of you even wrote to tell

me how financially foolish we were

to go visit our kids for Mother's Day ...

all of our Teens and Big Kids have jobs,

and they all WANT to contribute to

Family Fun.  They understand our

financial situation, and DESIRE to

do their part in making 

days like this possible.

When we went Putt-Putt Golfing,

they each pulled out their own wallets.

But, I will admit, I did purchase the 

"expensive treats" for the kids.

Yes.  I spent $1 each on suckers

for the 4 younger children.

"Foolish"  I disagree.

Family Time is important 

for each and every one of us.


And, sometimes that $1 sucker
just "makes the day" for a child.

We will do what it takes 
to make Family Time happen.

We will drive 350 miles round trip in 1 day.

We will eat bagels & cream cheese

for dinner in the van to save money.


We will enjoy shopping in gift shops,
without buying gifts.


We will laugh together,
and dream together.

We will all chip in for 
Family Fun.

That's Just How 
The Big D. Family Works.

Thanks Kids,

for a GREAT Day,


You're The BEST !!!