BIG Van for Sale

Anyone need a 15 passenger van???




We have an AWESOME van for sale.


2002  Ford E350  with only about 125,000 miles on it (mostly highway miles due to 4 cross country road trips and many 1,000-2,000 mile road trips).


We are only asking $7,500.


No rips, tears, stains on upholstery.


Tow package.


Running Board.


We are DOWNSIZING due to the fact that our big kids have all run off and left home.  (sad mama)


I just found my DREAM SUV (I've been looking at them for several years, and have been looking for a very specific make/model/year/mileage ... and I found one).


Therefore ... I am willing to give you a REALLY good deal on a Monster Van.  :)


And ... if you live in the U.S.A. ... I will bring it to YOU.  (You pay for gas, and I'll give the time to drive it.)




Let me know if you are interested, because I would much rather sell it to YOU, than trade it in to the dealer.

***  Don't miss my other post from tonight, ***

about Affirming Our Husbands.

Are You Affirming Your Husband?

I told you on Monday about the DRAMATIC change in our marriage that was brought about by simply following a little tip from Craig Groeschel's book, "Weird: Because normal isn't working."


We wives usually like to read about all of the things our husbands should be doing for us.  But, I would be remiss if I failed to share with you what Craig says that we WIVES must be doing.


"Ladies, just as you need to be affirmed with words of affection, your man needs to be affirmed with words of affirmation.  He may seem confident to many, but most men (including me) are pathetically insecure.  ...  For men, our self-worth often evaporates with our last accomplishment.


In so many ways, a husband is in the process of becoming what his wife sees in him.  Since she knows him better than anyone else, if she says he's no good, he's tempted to believe it.  If she thinks he's amazing, he'll start to believe he can accomplish a lot. ...


Ladies, you'll probably want to know, "Does he love me today?"  (Men, tell her and tell her why.)  At the same time, men want to know, "Do you believe in me today?"  (Ladies, tell him.)"

Marriage is definitely a two-way street.  We are all responsible to do our part.

In the midst of the darkest days of our Marriage Crisis, I could have easily said to Jim, 

"You jerk."

"How could you be so stupid?"

"I'm outta here."

But ... I didn't.

Instead, I CHOSE to respond in love.

"I love you."

"I'm committed to you."

"We can get through this."

"I believe we can have a better marriage than we've ever had before."  (and, ours has been pretty darn good over the years)

During the long months of unemployment, I could have responded,

"How are we ever going to pay our bills 
 now that you quit your job?"

"You're never going to get a good job again."

"Why aren't you providing for your family?"

But ... instead ... I CHOSE to be supportive.

"Do you want to go back into teaching?"

"How can I help?"

"What do you need ME to do for you?"

"Do you want ME to get a part-time job?"

"We KNOW that the LORD is our provider.  We will trust in HIM."

Now, don't get me wrong.  I am certainly not perfect; and I have not been the perfect wife this year.  But ... more often than not ... I have made the CHOICE to respond in love.  I have made the CHOICE not to belittle my husband, even if/when I have been REALLY frustrated with him.

If I had made the wrong choice ... if I had chosen to call names ... if I had chosen to fill our conversations with disparaging remarks ... I do not believe that our marriage would be working on its  Restoration Project  now.

How about YOU?  

How do YOU show affirmation for your husband?  

Do you regularly tell him ... specifically ... how much you love him, respect him, and believe in him?  

If not, why not?

I know that I need to do a better job of this, and I am purposing to make the change NOW.  

Won't you join me in committing to making your marriage better?




This week, I have told Jim,




"Thank you ... for working so very hard to provide for us.  I appreciate ALL of the extra hours you are putting in."  (I have told him this on multiple days, so that he REALLY KNOWS how much I appreciate it.)


"Thank you ... for making the effort to work on our marriage, for being committed to the Restoration Project."


"Thank you ... for all of the sticky notes on the bathroom mirror, and the sweet card one morning.






What words of Affirmation have you given your husband (or words of love for your wife) this week?




I'm going to go right now and write a note for Jim to find on the bathroom mirror, telling him that I appreciate him.






Update:


Just a short time after posting this, I picked up a new book to peruse it for a few minutes before bed.  Wow!  I am excited to dig in to ... "What's it Like to be Married to Me?"


Two quotes POPPED out at me tonight, that I just had to add to this post.




"If you treat a man as he is, he will stay as he is.  If you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become that bigger and better man."  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe




"Accepting each other makes a stable marriage.  Appreciating each other, however, makes a sensational marriage."   Brett Selby




Weren't those great?  


Isn't the LORD great, that He would show me those quotes just after posting this?


I want a Sensational Marriage.  How about YOU?




I can hardly wait to dig into this book so that I can share more with you.  I think it's going to challenge us.  

The End Is In Sight ... Maybe ...

The end of our Tax Saga ???


maybe ???




I got the following letter from the IRS yesterday:




"We are pleased to tell you we did not make any changes to the tax reported on your return.  We will be returning any original documents you sent relating to your return in a separate envelope.  If you are due a refund, we will send it to you within six to eight weeks, provided you have no unpaid accounts or other legal debts we are required to collect."




Questions for all of you who are ahead of us in the process:




Does this really mean that we might see our full refund within 6-8 weeks???




Or is this just one more "step" in the process, that I'm not supposed to get too excited about?




Are they really paying interest?  (as I've heard rumor of)




Can I really expect the $$ in 6-8 weeks?




Any chance it might be earlier?  




Where are YOU in the Adoption Tax Credit Process?




How many of YOU have received your full refunds?




Just wondering ...

NEWS FLASH!  NEWS FLASH!  NEWS FLASH!

I went online today to check my bank balance and discovered that ... THE IRS DEPOSITED THE $$$ LAST FRIDAY!  

Not quite the full amount.  We still have about $5,000 to "discuss" with them.  I don't know exactly what they paid and/or whether they paid interest, since we have no statement from them that we have been paid.

But ... there is more $$$ in our bank acct. than there has been in the past 2 years and this makes us VERY HAPPY!

Now ... we get to decide what non-profits we would like to BLESS with our extra tithe money.  I so LOVE to be able to BLESS others.

Then ... we need to take a deep breath and look at all of our lists to see what we NEED to take care of financially.  We definitely have some car repairs that need to be made, etc...

And ... we need to figure out how much we must set aside for living expenses the next few months.  Papa only has 1 or 2 painting jobs lined up, so things could get tight this winter.

But ... we are PRAISING THE LORD for HIS provision!!!

PRAISE JESUS!  PRAISE JESUS!  PRAISE JESUS!

Love Is ... Weird

You are probably wondering, "What is up with the weird title?"   "Weird" is not exactly the word I usually think of when I think about "Love".


Well ... I've been reading a new book; and the title is, "Weird: Because normal isn't working."


Have any of you heard about it?


Have any of you read it?


I am REALLY enjoying this new book that Jim picked up at the local bookstore.  It has definitely captured my attention.


But ... back to the title of this post ...


"Love Is ... Weird" is the title of one of the chapters.  And, one of the little tips that Craig Groeschel (the author) shares in this chapter, has made a DRAMATIC impact on our marriage.  Seriously.


The past few weeks (before our anniversary), Jim had made it a point to look me in the eye nearly every day and say, "I Love You."  But, sadly, I admit,  it didn't mean too much to me.  Because of all of the past actions ... because of the lack of communication ... because of all of the hurt and pain that has taken place this past year ... I would look at him and think, "What exactly do you mean by that?"  "Where are the actions to back up the words?"




Then, I went out to dinner with Jim, and the Restoration Project began.  On the way home from our Date Night, I read aloud a short excerpt from the chapter, "Love is ... Weird".  And ... Jim took it to heart.




"Which brings us to communication.  Again, a no-brainer essential ingredient to any healthy relationship.  Yet in marriage, it takes effort to continue working on communication day after day, year after year.  ...


If you are a man, it's especially helpful to pursue your wife with words of affection.  Normal guys do this when they are dating but let it wane when married.  Don't be normal. Women especially need nonsexual affection ... Normal men often abandon verbal compliments after marriage.  One of the most helpful things I've counseled men to do is to add one word to their expression of love:  because.


The next time you say, "I love you," add this word: because.  "I love you because ..."  Then fill in the blank.  Say something specific that is special to you. ...


Here's the key.  Always add a because - but never repeat a reason.  Be creative.  And be sincere.  Each time you say it, give her a different because.


Ladies, just as you need to be affirmed with words of affection, your man needs to be affirmed with words of affirmation. ..."




Yes.  That short excerpt from this Weird book, caught our attention and gave us a little direction for an area that we struggled in.


The next morning I woke up to find a little sticky note on my bathroom mirror.  It said, "Thank you for being an amazing woman of God.  I love you."


And, the next 6 days I have found the following sticky notes on my bathroom mirror ...

I Love You Because ...

... you warm my heart.

... you support and encourage me.

... you encourage so many people

with your blog.

... you show compassion.

... you're my best friend.

... you have a spark of hope and love

in your eyes.

I was even out-of-town overnight on Monday/Tuesday, and I awoke Tuesday morning to my phone beeping to let me know I had a text message:

I love u because ... 

u always dress up

and catch my attention

and u look great.

Last Friday, Jim came to me and said, "I REALLY enjoy writing you those notes.  It has been REALLY fun.  I am wondering if I could buy you a little notebook that you could keep all of the sticky notes in."

Is that sweet, or what?!?!




Yes.  Love is Weird ... it is Not Normal ... when it results in actions done God's Way.




Is your marriage Weird?  


I hope so.

More details coming with how we WIVES need to show our husbands that we LOVE them in a Weird Way, too.

Crash !!!

The Kids

Sledded,

Rolled,

and

Crashed,

for several hours last week.

For more  Summer Snow Day  pictures,

see Monday Night's post.

A Little Hike

When we went to Mt. Baker last week,

for some Family Fun in the SNOW,

(see THIS POST for more pics)

Ben & Carissa decided to take a little hike.

Yea!  They made it to the top of the hill.

Can you see them up there ...

at the top of the MOUNTAIN ???

They actually climbed further than this picture shows,

because I couldn't get the whole mountain in the picture.

Carissa was "hiking" ... 

on SNOW ... 

in Converse Tennis Shoes.

I did warn her not to get hurt, because I was NOT 

going to climb the mountain to rescue her.

I also warned Ben that he would be carrying her

down the mountain if she were to get hurt.

This is the young lady that has had 3 ACL reconstruction

surgeries on her knees in the past 5 years or so.

Part of parenting young adults is giving them 

"warnings" rather than "rules".  

I did, however, draw the line with 14 y.o. Hosanna,

and I did NOT allow her to climb the mountain

in her slick-soled Converse Tennis Shoes.

Ben & Carissa told me later that it was

"a good thing" that I had not allowed

Hosanna to join them, because of

the difficult terrain.

Thankfully ... Ben & Carissa were careful,

and did NOT get injured on their "little" hike.


Ben got some great pics from the top of the mountain;
I'll have to get some from him to share with you.

Falling In Love Again

We found the following sign ... last Sunday ... in one of the cute little Antique Shops that we were exploring ... on  Our 29th Anniversary  ... and bought it.


Jim hung it above his dresser, where we look right at it from our bed.

A Successul Marriage

Requires Falling In Love 


Many Times ...

Always With The Same Person.

Yes.  After the 2 most difficult years of our lives ... Jim and I are falling in love again.  




Praise Jesus!!!

Adoption TOUGH Stuff

I read a couple of blog posts today, written by mamas in the trenches ... mamas in the battlefield of parenting kids who's lives have been ripped apart by trauma.


My heart is burdened tonight for these mamas ... and all of the other mamas walking this journey.  Please join me in prayer.  I'm sure they'd love an encouraging word on their blogs, as well, if you'll take a minute or two to pop over to read their whole posts.




Jillian ... at Rooted in Love ... wrote THIS POST a couple of days ago.  One of her adopted sons is currently in a Residential Treatment Center (RTC).  She is battling with her insurance company to pay for extended care for him, in order to protect himself and others.  This week, Jillian unexpectedly had a flashback.  Jillian is suffering from PTSD caused by her experiences as an adoptive mother of a traumatized child.


" I literally stumbled back a few steps, and grabbed for something to balance me. Flashes of blood on the wall, poop on the sink, I couldn't even see my own image in the mirror. His eyes when they are filled with rage and the child is "gone" and only trauma and anger remain, his fist coming at my face, the smack across my arms, the bite on my leg, the pee stained walls, the broken window locks, his breath, his sound, his scream, his threats against me, his homemade weapons, my entire body felt weighted, almost as if held hostage to a horror movie ... "


Please pray for Jillian and her family.  My heart goes out to her.  My heart grieves with hers, as only another mother who has walked a journey with a traumatized child can.




Tisha ... over at Deutschland ... wrote THIS POST today.  She says, "if I were facilitating adoption training what would I want to share with people to help them prepare themselves for what may lie ahead?"  I think that her post is not only helpful for parents considering adoption, but that it might be very helpful for non-adoptive parents who just cannot understand the life that their adoptive friends are now living.  Here are a few of the things that Tisha shared:


"the adoption may expose parts of themselves to themselves that they did not know existed ..."


"the compassion that carried you through the process may quickly fade."


"just because your adopted children have suffered huge, traumatic losses does not mean that your struggles are any less significant. ..."


"you will be shocked to discover that if you have biological children your feelings and emotions toward your adopted children are not at all the same. ..."


"Your journey may be 2 steps forward - sometimes 3 or 4 or 20 back. ..."


"You may question God's presence in your lives and wonder if you did indeed understand His will for you correctly. ..."


I so appreciate Tisha's transparency ... her honesty about the TOUGH stuff that many adoptive parents want to keep "hush-hush" about.  It is NOT a sin to admit, "I just don't love this child the same as my bio. children."  It is, actually, very common when you have adopted a child from HARD places.


Thanks, Tisha, for keeping things real!




Lastly, I want to ask that you pray for my friend, Sarah.  She is walking through a TOUGH time.  One of her 16 children is living in a group home right now, because it is unsafe for her to live at home.  So hard.  Sarah's post today didn't go into details, but it showed the pain she walks through day by day.  I thought I would just give you an excerpt from a POST she wrote a month ago ... because it still conveys what she is walking through today.


"On this day I am feeling a little lost and confused.  I am sad and wondering why I let so much of my life and the lives of my children be wasted by one child's trauma and drama. Yet I find myself with another child facing similar behaviors. Perhaps its because this sibling didn't get attention during those years of dealing with Sophie and now he feels that he needs to monopolize all the negative attention we have to give. Or maybe its because we were just too busy to notice the really obnoxious things he does, or the way that he can't let anything go, or the anger that he has.

And at the same time of feeling angry at RAD and feeling depressed about the chaos it ensues... I find myself missing Sophie so much. We buy her minutes for her cell phone so that she can text me when she wants. And typically that's several times a day, each and everyday. Well two days ago after the long day of attachment therapy she ran out of minutes. And so its been two days since I have talked to her. And I freaking miss her. She is my daughter and I miss her even if she causes chaos and nearly ruined my marriage. I still love her and we still definitely have a strong connection to one another despite the RAD. I keep finding myself caught up in the thought of having to go and get her a new phone card because she is now living at a strangers house and what if she needs me? It hurts. It sucks."


I hope you will pop over and show some lovin' to Sarah.  She is an awesome Mama to 16, who could really use our support and prayers.