Obviously, I am not one that "avoids conflict" . . . or I would be avoiding this subject all together. (smile)
If I were one that "avoids conflict" . . . I would write a Fairytale Blog about our "Big, Happy, Family", and avoid all discussion of the struggles that we face.
Now, it's not that I look for conflict . . . it's not that I enjoy conflict . . . it's certainly not that I seek out conflict. Oh. My. No.
However, I do not run from any and all conflict. I believe that God calls us to live our lives with open and honest communication.
"Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ ..." Ephesians 4:15
"These are the things that you shall do: Speak the truth to one another; render in your gates judgments that are true and make for peace ..." Zechariah 8:16
Now, I am not saying that it is right to say anything and everything that comes to mind. There are certainly times that the Lord calls us to keep our mouths shut . . . to keep our opinions to ourselves.
Directly attacking someone through their blog . . . through Facebook . . . through gossip . . . is NOT what, I believe, God had in mind, even if what you say may be true. But . . . that is a whole other conversation.
God calls us to TRUTH . . . spoken in LOVE . . . with the goal to bring PEACE.
Oh my . . . just sitting down to write this has shown me that this conversation could go in MANY directions. I could probably write 5 separate posts about this (and maybe I will).
Another day . . . I may write more about how inappropriate it is to attack someone's life choices through blog comments, even when you believe you are bringing truth.
Another day . . . I may write about how deadly Conflict Avoidance can be to a marriage, and how important it is to be honest and open (even when discussing the Tough Stuff).
Another day . . . I may write about how important Speaking the Truth in Love is to the Parent/Teen relationship.
Today ... however ... I want to go in a whole different direction.
When I sat down to write this post, I was only thinking of the Conflict Avoidance Option when parenting children with challenges.
We've had a couple of difficult days with Little Miss this week. This morning was especially tough.
If you have a challenging adopted child . . .
(w/ RAD, ODD, PTSD, FASD, etc ...)
. . . how do you pick your battles?
. . . when do you just let the child "be in charge"?