The Big "D" in Adoption

This is absolutely the best post about Adoption Disruption / "Failed" Adoptions that I've read . . . and it's written by an Adoptive Mom who has NOT experienced it.  Thanks, Angel, for sharing your heart on this most challenging topic.

Here are a few excerpts . . .


"It's the thing no one wants to talk about.... Shhhhhh.... Disruption.  

I guess in the world of adoption this is the unforgivable sin right? And now I'm finally gonna talk about it. "

"These people were absolutely broken. These families had put blood, sweat and tears into adopting these children just like I had. These people wanted it to work. What they were doing was a nightmare for them. They held a belief that this is what was best for that child. 

As I walked this journey the thought occurred to me, "Why is it that the adoption community frequently offers virtual sainthood to a birth mother who makes the decision not to parent for a perceived good of the child but is ready to stone an adoptive mother who does the same?" 

"Cause the truth is that few people are brave enough to adopt. These people were and then it failed and they feel like they failed. They are making a decision to give up a CHILD, to give up a dream, to give up what people think of them.... I can guarantee this is the worst time of their entire life and was not in the plan EVER.

Then the friends that have been their support are often the ones that pick up the sharpest, biggest stones."

"I don't want to be a part of that. I don't want to be a part of smashing someone who is already broken to bits. No matter why they are broken I want to be the one who is a safe place.

Whatever caused them to enter into the worst nightmare of their life I'd rather be a part of the healing than the sentencing. Maybe it was impossible... Maybe it was all their fault... For sure they are paying a steeper price than I can fathom without my heaping guilt and anger on top of them."


While we are currently not walking through another Adoption Disruption, we are being judged and condemned for moving our precious daughter to a Residential Care Facility.  We have been told that once again, we have "failed" our adopted daughter.

Thankfully, we do have friends that are walking by our sides, praying us through yet another crisis, supporting us on this most difficult parenting journey.  We thank Jesus for our new church and new friends!  It was definitely God's perfect timing for us to find this new church.

I really hope that you will pop over to Angel's Blog to read the Whole Post.