My Friend Dawn wrote an excellent post this week, that I hope you will pop over and read. Here are a few excerpts from: What Does Your Inner Circle Whisper in Your Ear?
"those in your inner circle play a BIG ROLE in WHO you are. Not that they define you specifically- you still have a choice, but really what they "whisper into your ears and heart" really do define who you are."
(Her pastor shared this Declaration.) "I am filled with seeds of greatness because I possess the seeds of Christ. God is connecting me with people of faith who will inspire me, challenge me and help me to grow. If there are any unhealthy relationships in my life, I refuse to let them pull me down any longer. I am moving forward with those who believe the promises of God and are determined to realize them."
"Those in your inner circle NEED TO BE ON YOUR SIDE!!! That is not to say we shouldn't speak hard things to friends who need to hear them, but when we do it has to be in a way of cheering them on and from a total Biblical perspective."
(after a very difficult discussion with close friends this week) "Unfortunately......it ended in a break in the relationships. I am not saying they will not one day be restored because people WE SERVE A MIGHTY GOD!! I pray they will. We DO NOT HATE THEM. We just can't have them whisper in our ears anymore.....'you can't change, you are in the wrong, I can't believe you anymore, you are crazy, you won't succeed', and on and on."
"What God hears us speak over a situation matters. If you have friends or family or neighbors that speak ill of your family. People who tell you your hubby is not worthy. Your children will never change. Your .........?? Then they need to stop (preferably) or you need to get them out of your inner circle."
"We want people who speak LIFE OVER US! Who believe that JESUS IS REAL AND CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH US AND FOR US! People who say.....I am so sorry to hear about your trials, but I believe that GOD WILL MOVE MOUNTAINS! I know it must be rough, can I pray with you? I know you have slipped into this "sin" and I want to see you set free. How can I encourage a friend today to help them get out? "
"When we STAND WITH our inner circle friends WE BECOME AN UNSTOPPABLE FORCE FOR CHRIST!!! We become His hands and feet.
Soooo........Who is in your inner circle, and do there need to be some changes? How can you do that in the best way?"
This was a very powerful post for me and Jim. As we have begun to make new friends at our new church, we need to be cautious . . . we can't openly share with everyone . . . yet at the same time we can't push people away in order to protect ourselves. We need to be cautious about allowing people into our "inner circle" (our group of closest friends that we share everything with); yet we need to be open to whomever the Lord desires for us to have as new friends. We must pray for wisdom. We are so very thankful for the close friends that the Lord is bringing our way, after a very lonely journey the past couple of years, and we pray that some of these new friends will truly become part of our "inner circle". Everyone needs an "inner circle" that is supportive through the good times and the bad, friends to laugh with and to cry with, friends to pray for and to have pray for you, friends that will not judge and condemn when you make decisions that they do not understand.
We are truly blessed to have multiple couples in our "inner circle" that we have been friends with for over 20 years. And, I am also blessed to have a handful of close friends that I've met in the past 4 years, that have walked me through each and every step of each and every crisis that has come my way. THANK YOU, friends. You know who you are. (smile)
Do you have an inner circle of friends to walk with you through the good times and the bad?
Are there any changes that you need to make in your inner circle?
Are there people that are close to you that leave you broken rather than built up?
I hope that you will pop over to Dawn's blog to read the full post,
and I hope that you will seek the Lord as to who He wants
you to have in your inner circle.
My husband and I have been part of a Bible study that has been together since the late 70's (gives you an idea of our age). It began as a "Share Group" but has evolved to be much more than that and after reading your post, it is our "inner circle." We are all members of the same church (EPC, Evangelical Presbyterian denomination). The group has changed some with some people dropping out, some passing away and many with moves. There is a basic core group (three couples) that has not changed. We have been through many difficulties in all these years yet with prayer, Bible study, love and complete support of each other, we have survived. Many have said that we need to change groups periodically, but we have found that this group is our "lifeline" in times of need. We are solid theologically using our study time from the Word.
ReplyDeleteMay God bless you mightily as in this journey and give you wisdom as you have asked.
Wow! You have been truly BLESSED by this group of friends.
DeleteInteresting post, Laurel. I often wonder if the pastor's wives/families are often the most isolated in churches and if this contributes to a lot of loneliness!
ReplyDeleteInteresting thought.
DeleteWhile we are not currently in a pastoral role, I know this is true for many in leadership (within the church and other organizations).
When Jim was a pastor, we jumped into relationships with members of the congregation. It was our "closest friends" in the church that we were most hurt by, though, when we couldn't possibly meet their expectations of us as pastor and pastor's wife. We learned that we couldn't be "just friends".
On the flip side, we have attended churches where the pastor and wife have definitely seemed to "keep their distance". We have desired to be "just friends". But, understandably, many pastors and their wives have learned the hard way that the must keep some distance with members of the congregation.
At the same time, when I ran a school for homeschoolers I felt that some "kept their distance" from being my friend because I was "the one in charge".
It can be especially challenging for those in leadership to find/keep friends in their "inner circle" ... Unless they find friends outside of their church or organization.