What Can I Control?

In the past 18 months, 
there have been a LOT of things that I could NOT control:

I could not control our Marriage Crisis.
I could do my part to work through the issues.
But, ultimately, I could not control the final outcome.
(I praise Jesus that HE was in control, and that 
 our marriage survived a significant crisis.)

I could not control my surprise pregnancy at age 49;
nor could I control the loss of our precious child
(that we were sooooo..... excited about).
I can stand and stare at all of the
adorable pictures of the babies that I've had.
I can love and adore my grandson.
But, I cannot control the fact that, at age 50,
I will most likely never again have the
opportunity to carry a child in my womb.

I cannot control Jim's unemployment.
I can help in any way that he wants me to.
I can look for jobs on Craigslist.
I can help fill out job applications.
But, I cannot control any job offers.

I cannot control the Financial Stress.
I can budget carefully.
I can be as frugal as possible.
I can sell my car (which I did last fall).
But, I cannot control the loss of sufficient income.

I cannot control Rachel's  R.A.D. or Depression.
I can love her unconditionally.
I can do all I can to "not provoke her to anger".
I can pray for her.
I can seek medical and psychological help for her.
But, ultimately, I cannot control Rachel's behavior.

I cannot control the weather.

Seriously.  Months and months of rain does affect me.

I can drive to Southern CA for sunshine (occasionally).

I can take my kids to the beach or the park

when the sun does peak out from behind the clouds.

But, I cannot control whether I will see any sun this week.

You know . . . if I focused on all of the Tough Stuff that I really have no control over,
I could get pretty depressed.  However, I am choosing instead to take a look
at the areas of my life that I CAN control.


On Friday, after 18 months of overwhelming TOUGH STUFF,
I decided to jump back into my Takin' Care of Mama plan.

I am more than READY to Take Control of the few areas that I can.


I can control what food goes into my mouth.
I can take charge of my diet.
I can fight the urge to eat something
just because it looks good or smells good.
I can walk out of the room if I have to,
to avoid the kitchen temptations.
On Friday, I started a very structured diet plan,
with the wonderful support of a friend
who is also on the same plan
(and has lost a lot of weight in 6 weeks).

I can control the amount of exercise I get.
I can dust off the treadmill.
I can put on my walking shoes.
I can walk . . . and walk . . . and walk.
On Friday, I got up an walked 1 1/2 miles.

I can control the time I spend in God's Word.
I can get up and pick up my Bible.
I can set aside time to Pray.
I can do my best to block out distractions.
On Friday, I started the
"Read the Bible in 90 Days" plan.




My girlfriend that I am doing the diet plan with
is also walking through some TOUGH adoption stuff,
and TOUGH stuff with her Teens and Big Kids.
She's the one that encouraged me to Take Control
of the very limited areas that we can control,
rather than drowning in a sea of situations we cannot control.



How about YOU?  


Are you drowning in a sea of uncontrollable situations?


Are there any areas of your life that you need to Take Control of?


Do any of you need to start a  Takin' Care of Mama  plan, with me?


I'd love to support and encourage you in your goals.

Another Picture Project

Hosanna and I were busy, busy, busy yesterday afternoon.  

We sorted through boxes and boxes of old framed 

(and non-framed) professional portraits and family photos.

We set aside pictures that we still want to put up,

and pictures that need new frames.

We found a whole "set" of Fun Family Portraits that I am 

going to make a collage with in our Family Room.

What did we do with all of the pictures that we are not putting on the walls right now?

We organized them in this expandable file folder.

We have sections for:  "Family Portraits", "Individual Portraits",

"Extended Family", "Friends", "Weddings", and "Sports".

I organized and filed . . .

18 Professional Family Portraits

14 Professional Individual Portraits

19  Family Pic. Enlargements and Portraits

6 Professional Extended Family Portraits

3 Professional Friends Portraits

13 Professional Wedding Portraits

(weddings that family members have been in)

12 sets of Professional Sports Team Portraits

(teams that our children have been on)

In between each and every picture I placed a sheet of

Archival Quality Scrapbook Paper,

so that the photos will not be damaged.

I still have a few sets of framed 5 x 7 portraits that I LOVE,

but don't have any idea where to put them up.

I'm just not quite ready to "file them away", though.

Working on all of our old Family Portraits . . .

and putting Family Portrait Collages on the walls . . .

has really made us miss our Big Kids.

Today's Picture Project:

Going through 4 years' worth of pictures on 3 computers
(Mama's Desktop, Mama's Laptop, Ben's Laptop)
to pick out pics to print and enlarge of the Young Ones.


Next Week's Picture Project:

Framing pics of the 6 Young Ones
(from the last 10 years)
to create another Wall of Memories.

I'd love to hear how YOU organize your Family Portraits.

How Did This Happen?

My Baby Turned 28 Today.

I'm not old enough to have a 28 year old, am I?

I think playing with my 10 year olds

helps me to think I'm still young.

Happy Birthday, Gregg!!!

My first Grandbaby helped his Mommy make a surprise Birthday Cake for his Daddy.

I wish we lived close enough to join them for the Birthday Party,

but am so glad that Kayla sends me pics of Sweet Noah.

Diagnosis: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Little Miss and I have spent quite a bit of time at a Mental Health Clinic in the past few weeks.  While the results of her Psychological Evaluation were not surprising, the process was quite thorough and the 17 pages of "results" a bit overwhelming.


The Process

Clinical Interview (2 1/2 hours with Little Miss & Mama)
Wechsler Intelligence Scale  (Little Miss)
Iowa Test of Basic Skills  (Little Miss)
Behavior Rating Inventory of Executive Function  (Mama & School Teacher)
Millon Pre-Adolescent Clinical Inventory  (Little Miss)




The Good

Little Miss is quite bright (which we knew).

Little Miss scored above the 50th percentile in 9 of 10 areas on the Iowa Test of Basic Skills
(with 2 areas above the 60th percentile and 2 areas above the 70th percentile).

Little Miss scored above the 50th percentile in 4 of 5 areas on the Wechsler Intelligence Scale
(with 2 areas at the 70th percentile and 1 area at the 88th percentile).



The Bad

Little Miss has a few challenges (which we knew).

The primary academic challenge that we have been aware of is Little Miss' struggles with logic . . . critical thinking . . . cause & effect, which was confirmed in the testing.

Little Miss' lowest score on the Iowa Test was "Math".
Little Miss' lowest score on the Wechsler was "Perceptual Reasoning".

Yet, even with this one area of challenge, Little Miss fits squarely in the "average" box when it comes to intelligence . . . which is good . . . but also might be a little "bad".  I was visiting with a fellow adoptive mom this week (and comparing notes on these things) when she mentioned that it must be hard to have a very "average" child academically, who is so very challenged socially and emotionally.  This mom has several very challenged (and challenging) children; yet they have very low IQs to go along with their low social/emotional skills.  I hadn't really thought of it before, but with a more intellectually "average" child, it is more difficult for others to understand the severe social/emotional challenges that Little Miss has.

It was very interesting to see the results of the Behavior Rating Inventory that Little Miss' school teacher completed.  While her verbal reports to me were always, "She is so sweet . . . and wonderful . . . and I just love teaching her.", she showed a little different perspective when it came to being honest with the therapist about what was really happening at school.

Two small snippets of the results from the teacher's assessment:


"The Emotional Control scale indicated that Rachel demonstrates difficulty with emotional control at times, exhibits some emotional lability, and emotional explosiveness at school."

"Rachel's Behavioral Regulation Index score indicated that she has significant difficulty inhibiting or controlling herself behaviorally and emotionally at times.  She likely struggles to systematically problem solve, control her emotions, and control her behavior through self control."


Clearly, the outcome doesn't surprise us . . . but WHY, exactly, didn't Little Miss' teacher or principal ever report any behavioral problems to us???


The Ugly

Again . . . none of the results surprised us, but when it is presented to you in 17 pages of black and white, it can be a bit overwhelming.

One very interesting snippet from the Millon Pre-Adolescent Clinical Inventory that Little Miss took:

"Rachel endorsed a number of problematic thoughts, feelings, and behaviors across a broad range of content areas compared to the normative sample.  The pattern may be indicative of acute distress at the time of testing but the degree of over reported problems was not so pronounced that the report was invalid."


What does this mean?  This means that Little Miss "self-reported" that she has a LOT of problems in a LOT of areas . . . so much so that it is almost unbelievable that a child would have so many problems in so many areas.  (Ummmm . . . that is why we were having the Psych. Eval. in the first place.  Right?)  

I was in the room when Little Miss completed this Inventory.  She was not, in any way, under "acute distress".  Nope.  She just sat and checked the boxes.  And, when I reviewed her answers after she had completed the "test" . . . she had answered them pretty solidly.  She did not, in any way, "over report" her emotional/social challenges.  Sadly . . . it was a pretty accurate evaluation of the significant challenges that Little Miss lives with.


The Bottom Line

Little Miss is a deeply hurt and hurting child (again, no surprise here).

While the therapist that administered the testing "hates to label children", Little Miss did come away from the testing with a couple of significant labels.

In addition to the Reactive Attachment Disorder - Inhibited Type (which we are very familiar with), she did "earn" a label which we had not yet heard of:

Major Depressive Disorder - Severe without Psychotic Features

What does this mean?

Again, the behavior analysis was no surprise, this just puts a name to it.  In addition to Little Miss severe struggles with attachment, she is also Clinically Depressed.

Bottom Line?  In addition to the intensive therapy that Little Miss needs, we must also now take a look into the pharmaceutical world, and learn about medications that may be required to combat the severe depression.


* * * * *


Please keep Little Miss in your prayers.  We know that we know that we KNOW that God is Our Healer.  We believe with all our hearts that He could choose to bring a miraculous healing to our precious daughter.  Yet, at the same time, we must seek help from the world of psychology and medicine as we seek God's very BEST for our Little Miss.

A Date with Dorothy

I was totally BLESSED last week to meet my Bloggy Friend, Dorothy.

(It took me a few days to upload my pics from my phone.)

Oh. My. Yes.

She lives in MN, with her husband and 11 children, 

but was in the Seattle area visiting extended family.

And, she graciously "allowed" her husband to "watch the kids"

for a few hours so that we could have some "Trauma Mama Time".

This Mama KNOWS the challenges that we are walking

(and a whole lot more challenges that we haven't faced).

She UNDERSTANDS how difficult things can be.

She "GETS IT".

* * * * *

The timing of our lunch date couldn't have been better,

because it was the day after I got the results of

Little Miss' Psychological Evaluation.

It was so helpful to have someone to process the diagnosis with . . .

someone to laugh with over a therapist who just doesn't "get" R.A.D. . . .

someone to help me figure out what it all means . . .

someone to tell me how things work with 

Medications for Mental Illness, Medicaid, Social Security, Etc ...

* * * * *

When Dorothy wrote a little post about our time together 

(because she uploaded her pictures in a more timely manner) 

I had to smile.

One thing she said about me was that I was,

"more fun in real life".

Right back at you, Dorothy.  (smile)

Mamas who blog about Adoption Trauma aren't usually seen as "fun".

While I do my best to share "Family Fun" blog posts . . . often . . .

the "writer Mama" side of me probably comes out as more serious.

When we Trauma Mamas get together,

we do talk about the tough stuff,

but we also are able to

"let our hair down"

and LAUGH.

When we are with someone who truly understands, 

we can even laugh at the therapist who told me,

"I don't like to label children.",

when we came to her for a Psych. Eval.

in order to . . . 

 GET A LABEL.

Other friends might not think it is very funny.

* * * * *

Dorothy and I spent a couple of hours together,

eating burgers and garlic fries (yummmmm...),

laughing about life with our crazy extra-large families,

sharing the tough stuff and understanding each other.

Dorothy is a "City Girl", who lives in urban Minneapolis.

I am a "Country Girl", living in Small Town U.S.A.

Dorothy has 3 bio. kids and 8 adopted kids.

I have 10 bio. kids and 2 adopted kids.

Dorothy's oldest is 16.

My oldest is 28.

Dorothy has a house full of young ones.

I have to go visit my grandson in

order to change a diaper.

Dorothy has multiple children with FASD.

I have 1 child with RAD.

(thus my life looks EASY compared to hers)

Yet . . .

despite all of the differences . . .

the moment we met, we were FRIENDS.

The bond that Trauma Mamas have with each other

is far deeper than any of the differences that could divide.

Yes.

I was truly BLESSED by my time with my new friend, Dorothy!

A Blue Ribbon Day

What a night!  Our kids brought home a truckload of Ribbons from this week's track meet (and most of Rachel's were Blue Ribbons).  Sadly . . . there are no pictures.  (Bad Mama!)  While I was there . . . cheering loudly . . . with the camera by my side . . . I actually spent 2 hours of the Track Meet visiting on Skype (on my phone) with Adopted Big Kids Kati & Vicky (who both live in Texas).  Kati left the next morning for 2 months in Africa; so we were all excited to visit with her before she left.

However . . . because this is our Family Journal, and our means of Sharing Life with our Big Kids . . . I wanted to let you all know how well the kids did on Monday night.


Rachel

50m                     8.0             1st Place
50m Hurdles        9.03           1st Place
100m                  15.9             1st Place
200m                  34.16           1st Place
800m
mile                     7:50


Elijah

50m                     8.19             3rd Place
50m Hurdles        8.31             1st Place
400m                   1:29              2nd Place
800m                   2:13              2nd Place
mile                     7:30
Rocket Javelin    73'9"


Josiah

400m                    1:31              2nd Place
800m                     2:23             2nd Place
Discus                


Sarah

100m                                          1st Place
200m                     31.5              1st Place
Javelin                    43'
Long Jump             12'1"



Hosanna went to the Track Meet, too, but decided to sit with Mama and chat with Kati & Vicky all night.


We are so glad that our kids have this great opportunity every summer . . .

. . .  to stay in shape.

. . .  for friendly competition.

. . .  to have a place to go every week.

. . .  to develop their running skills before they join the Middle School Track Team.


We sure do enjoy our Monday Night All-Comers Track Meets.  Do any of you have this type of program in your communities?

Currently . . .

I recently found a new blog, Lemonade Makin' Mama, and oh what a fun blog it is.  This young mama just talks about real life stuff:  recipes, decorating, parenting, etc ... , but I really enjoy her style.  She wrote a post this week called "Currently . . ." which I thought I would copy.  (she said I could)


I am . . .

Currently Loving . . .  my Espresso Machine.  An Iced White Chocolate Raspberry Mocha puts a smile on my face every. single. morning.  And, Papa sure enjoys his Hot Carmel Vanilla Latte on the cold mornings we've been having.

Currently Reading . . .  nothing.  While I LOVE to read, I haven't had much time for it recently.  But, I am hoping to start "Kisses from Katie" and "Once An Arafat Man" real soon.


Currently Listening To . . .  the chatter of my children, working and playing together.  While we often have the Christian radio station on, today we are just enjoying the quiet (and soft voices).


Currently Waiting For . . .  Restoration of Family Relationships.  Hoping and praying for a breakthrough after a year of Tough Stuff.

Currently Dreaming About . . . trying to get away with Papa in August to Celebrate our 30th Anniversary.  It has been far too long since the 2 of us have gotten away together to just relax, play, and enjoy each other's company.  Praying for the finances to make this happen, and an answer to, "What do we do with the Young Ones?"

Currently Excited About . . .  Summer Sunshine and Play Days at the Beach.  It is still cold and rainy up here in the Pacific Northwest; but I am hoping that June will take the clouds with it when it leaves at the end of the week.

Currently Overwhelmed By . . .  the results of Little Miss' Psychological Evaluation.  (More details to come . . .)


Currently Praying For . . . a full-time, permanent Job for Papa.  He so desperately wants to be able to teach again.

Currently Missing . . .  My Big Kids.  When a year goes by without seeing my children, my Mama heart aches to see them . . . to visit with them . . . to play cards with them . . . to laugh with them.

Currently Trying . . .  to implement all that I have learned in the Freedom in Christ small group study that I've been going through with a group of ladies from our new church.  It is Good Stuff . . . Tough Stuff . . . Powerful Stuff.


Currently Working At . . .  Losing Weight.  I am about to embark on a new weight loss program with a friend, that she has been very successful at the past 6 weeks.  I am excited to have a "buddy" to walk with . . . to encourage . . . to be encouraged by . . . to call when I want to order a Mud Pie at Red Robin and eat the whole thing by myself. (smile)  I've also just added "Made to Crave" to my Reading List.


Currently Hoping For . . .  Healing for Little Miss.  My heart cries out to the Lord, to bring hope . . . and health . . . and healing to her heart.

Currently Enjoying . . .  Quiet Summer Days.  While we do try to keep up on our math and grammar during the summer, I am so glad to be done with the all day, every day homeschooling journey.

Currently Wearing . . .  Capris and a Hot Pink Shirt.  The capris are worn in hopes of the Summer Sun actually shining some time today.  The Hot Pink Shirt is worn to bring a bit of summer brightness into the house, when the sun hasn't been seen in a few days (or weeks, as the case may be).

Currently Thankful For . . .  A Phone Call from Carissa (sweet daughter who lives across the country).  She phoned me on her lunch break today . . . just to say "hi".  Makes my Mama heart happy to hear from my Big Kids.  (Also thankful for the 2 hour Skype call with Adopted Big Kids Kati & Vicky last night, as Kati left today for 2 months in Africa.  So, I am thankful for the amazing technology of being able to Skype from my phone while at a track meet.  Crazy!)

What have YOU been doing . . . currently ???

Leave a comment with a few things you are currently doing,
or write a whole post and give us all a link to it.

You.Have.No.Idea.

Attachment:

affection or fondness for someone or something

If you have never walked the journey through Attachment Disorders . . . you.have.no.idea how difficult it is.

If you have never met a child who has no affection or fondness for anyone or anything . . . you.have.no.idea what so many adoptive families face every.single.day.

If you have never poured your love into a child for 4 years . . . with no love being returned . . . you.have.no.idea of the daily heartbreak this brings.

If you have never loved a child who rejects your love every.single.day . . . you cannot begin to understand the pain . . . you.have.no.idea.

If you have never lived with a child who won't allow anyone to touch them, hug them, kiss them, sit next to them . . . you cannot fathom the ache in the arms of the mama who just wants to pull them close and wrap her arms around them . . . you.have.no.idea.

If you think that "love can wash away the pain" . . . 

you.have.no.idea.

If you think that "love heals all wounds" . . . 

you.have.no.idea.

If you think that attachment disorders are caused
by poor parenting of the adoptive parents . . . 

you.have.no.idea.

If you think that there is any type of "quick fix" 

for children who live with this disorder . . . 

you.have.no.idea.

We are walking through a very challenging time with Little Miss . . . 

you.have.no.idea.

We know that no one can understand this journey unless they have already walked it . . . you.have.no.idea.

We know that we have some difficult decisions to make . . . 

ones that will be misunderstood and challenged . . . 

you.have.no.idea.

* * * * * * * * * *

Here is a little Update on Little Miss . . .


Attending a small Christian school this past semester was good for Little Miss . . . but it is not something we can afford to continue (as the expenses this semester were covered by a one-time gift in addition to a one-time tuition discount).  So, we are left to look at the alternatives:  homeschooling again?  the neighborhood public school?  where ???

Sadly, we believe that what she has liked most about going to school . . . is not being home.  The principal said that she "bounds off the bus every morning with a big smile on her face" . . . (whereas we can go weeks at home without seeing a smile).  Then, she drags herself off the bus every afternoon . . . sad to have to come home.

This is NOT how it should be.

This is NOT the life that a precious 

child of God should be living.

Little Miss is loved here.

Little Miss is cared for here.

Little Miss is glad to go to school, not because she has lots of friends there (she doesn't) . . . not because she has bonded with her teacher (she hasn't) . . . not because it is such a fun place to be (there are many more rules and much more work expected than there were at home).  No.  Little Miss is glad to go to school because she is so desperately afraid of being loved . . . of being cared for.  She doesn't want to come home because she is filled with so much pain from her past, that she does not feel worthy of our love.  She doesn't want to get close to anyone.  She doesn't want anyone to chip away at the concrete that she has wrapped around her heart.

* * * * * * * * * *

Even if you have never walked this journey . . . 

please pray for us as we look at our options.

Even if you don't understand it in the least . . . 

please pray for us as we seek answers to the question,
"What is the very BEST that we can do for Little Miss?"

Even if you think, "They should _______" . . . 

"parent differently"

"love her more"

"read this book or that book"

please pray for us as we seek wisdom from the Lord.

Even if you DO.NOT.UNDERSTAND. at all . . .

please pray for us.

Even if you tend to want to judge or condemn us . . .

please pray for us.

Even if . . . 

You.Have.No.Idea. . . .

please pray for us.

What Are Your Gifts & Passions?

A few weeks ago, I read THIS POST, over at GraceFullMama, and it got me thinking . . .

Joy wrote about comparing herself to other Mamas . . . and coming up short.  She wasn't good at Scrapbooking, like some friends.  She didn't have musical talents, like some friends.  She didn't have the gift of house decorating, like some friends.  So, she sometimes got stuck in the "What's wrong with me?" mode.

Haven't we all been there?  Comparing ourselves to the many gifted women all around us . . . but somehow failing to see the gifts within ourselves?

Joy said,  "Maybe it’s getting older, maybe it’s God working in my heart, or more likely a healthy combination of both, but I am resolved to look at what I can do and celebrate that and not let what I can’t do define me."


What is one of Joy's  gifts?  "I sing a mean Itsy Bitsy Spider, people." (Yes, you need to read the rest of her post.)


She went on to say,  "And I want to use the talents and gifts that God has given me for His glory, however small and seemingly meaningless they are."

I so enjoyed Joy's post, that I thought I would share my response with you . . .

Sewing my children's clothes? Not!
Knitting or crocheting? Not!
Artistic?  Nope.  I can't even draw stick figures.
Fashion? I try to match.
Decorating? I think my house would be considered "eclectic".
Spotless House? Not with a dozen kids, I don't.
Structured Lesson Plans for Homeschooling? Not on your life.

Scrapbooking? YES! I LOVE it!
Hostessing a Party for 100 people? Oh My Yes!
Baking My Husband's Favorite Apple/Blueberry Pie?  Absolutely!
Loving each and every one of my 12 children? You bet!
Cheering at 5 sporting events per week? Bring it on.
Driving 9,000 miles to show my kids some National Monuments?  Can we leave tomorrow?

I am not ...

"Susie Homemaker" (but I do the best I can)
"Young & Beautiful" (I lost that title a few years back)
"Strong & Athletic" (I used to be . . . 30 years ago)

I am ...

"a fully devoted, committed, loving, wife of nearly 30 years" (but certainly not perfect)
"a fully devoted mama of a dozen children" (and a few "adopted big kids" too)
"passionate about teaching my children at home" (without structured lesson plans)
"a lover of Jesus, choosing to follow Him with a crazy, passionate faith" (even when no one understands)

I am an ordinary woman with an extraordinary God . . . who has chosen to walk a life of F.A.I.T.H. (Fantastic Adventure In Trusting Him).

What about YOU?

What are YOUR Passions?

What makes YOU tick?

What Gifts has God given YOU?

Don't be shy now . . . I really want to know.

• L

They Keep On Runnin'

The kids had a good Track Meet on Monday.

I was still so tired, though, that I didn't take any pictures;

but I did ask Hosanna to take a few.

Here . . . 

Elijah sprints to the finish line of the Mile.

Elijah won a Pizza this week, 

because he guessed that he would run the mile in 7:22,

and he actually finished in 7:23.  

How do you run a mile and only miss your guess by 1 second?

(Some people are timing themselves, and slow down or speed up the pace right

at the end.  Not Elijah . . . he just goes out and runs his hardest.)

Rachel finishes the mile,

not too far behind Elijah.

Hosanna also took a few pics of our Family Cheerleaders this week.

Here are a few Stats from this week's meet:  (because this is our Family Journal, and a way to share our life with our Big Kids)

The races are divided by age group and gender, so when Elijah gets a "2nd Place" that is against 9-11 year old boys.

Sarah, Hosanna, and Ben run in the "13 and above" age group, so they may find themselves running against a 45 year old woman or 70 year old man.  (And, sometimes the girls and guys run in the same race . . . which puts 4'10" Sarah running against high school boys and grown men.)

Elijah

50m  *  8.28  *  3rd Place

50m Hurdles  *  9.63  *  2nd Place

100m

400m  * 1:23

800m  *  3:16

Mile  *  7:23

Rachel

50m Hurdles  *  9.03  *  1st Place

100m  *  15.56  *  1st Place

200m

800m  *  3:19

Mile  *  8:00

Long Jump  *  10'6"

Josiah

400  *  1:29

800  *  3:23

Discus  *  30'7"

Shot  *  15'6"

High Jump  *  3'3"

Sarah

100  *  14.38

200  *  31. ?

Long Jump  *  12'3"

Javelin  *  37'

Hosanna

200  *  29. ?


Ben

Just wanted to be a "cheerleader" tonight.

We sure love our Family Nights of Track & Field.

A Wall of Memories

Nearly 3 years ago, in September 2009, Papa moved to the island to pastor a church; and we put our house on the market (with plans/dreams of moving to the island with Papa).

When we put the house on the market, the realtor told us we needed to not only paint the exterior of our house (a color that we really don't like); but that we also needed to take all of our Family Pictures off of the walls.  Being the obedient people that we are, we did as she said.

Our house was on the market for nearly a year and a half.  The house never sold.  Papa moved home from the island in December 2010.  And . . . we still did not put the pictures back on the walls.  For over a year, Papa pursued jobs across the state and in other states.  We didn't want to re-hang all of the pictures, only to be told to take them down again if we needed to put the house back on the market.

Last Fall, we did a lot of re-decorating . . . painting over 75% of the interior of the house with all new colors.  And . . . we still did not put the pictures back on the walls.  Papa was still pursuing jobs anywhere and everywhere.

This spring, however . . . after much prayer . . . we decided to STAY PUT.  After 3 years of wondering if and when we were going to move, we decided that THIS is HOME; and THIS is where we BELONG.

Finally . . . 

it was time to find all of the picture boxes . . . 

time to put the HOME back in our house.

This hallway basically covers the first 20 years of our marriage,

from our wedding to the births of each of our 10 biological children.

I placed our wedding picture in the center of the wall,

and then moved "out" from there,
with all of the Baby Pictures to the right,
and random Family Pictures to the left.

Here are just a few of Mama's Favorites . . .

I am now working on a whole new collage for one of our other hallways.
(We actually have 4 hallways plus a long stairwell in our house,
which gives me a LOT of space for Family Pics.)

I don't, however, have room anymore for each of the large collage
frames from our Big Kids' Senior Portraits.

I need to print off pictures of our Younger Six,
to put them in all of the old frames.

I just finished Ben's Senior Portrait Collage.




And . . .

I bought this sweet frame for


Our First Grandchild,


and will probably need a whole Grandchild Wall within a few years.

It is sooo.... nice to have some of our Favorite Family Pics back on the walls.

Relationship Building with Teenagers

Thanks so much for voting for my blog on the "Top 25 Mom of Teens" contest.  The voting ended today, and in just 1 week you all moved me up from #25 to #6 (out of a total of 51 blogs).  

Such an honor!  

Thanks!

The Circle of Moms (who puts on the "Top 25" contests) asked me a question today . . .

"What's the Best Thing About Having Teens?

It only took me a moment to whip out my response:  

"The best thing about having teens is the RELATIONSHIPS that we can build with these soon-to-be young adults. I absolutely LOVE the teen years (even though they are not always easy). A few years ago, we had 8 teens living at home (6 of our own bio. kids were teens, plus we had 2 "extras" for a year or so). I LOVE the midnight conversations. I LOVE being my kids' biggest cheerleader (at piano recitals, school musicals, sporting events, etc....). I LOVE "hanging out" with them and their friends (playing card games, sitting around a campfire, watching movies). I LOVE building relationships with their friends (who may or may not have healthy relationships with their own parents). I love cheering for the kids on the sports teams that don't have family there cheering.  While there is still a whole lot of parenting (instruction and discipline) that needs to take place during the teen years, I LOVE building the friendships that will hopefully carry us into adulthood."

Seriously.  

I love teenagers.

And . . .

while rules are important . . .

it is imperative that we focus . . .

more on the Relationships . . .

than on the Rules.

How Do You Decorate Your . . .

Refrigerator ?

(Yes.  The front of my refrigerator does stay this neat and orderly . . .
it's really the only place in the house that I can keep neat and orderly . .
but the side of the refrigerator is filled with misc. notes and reminders, etc ...
like the rest of the house . . . the office, the dining table, the kitchen counter.)

The front of my Freezer Door,

is an honored place to find yourself.

It is an exclusive place,

reserved for family and close friends.

It is also a place that Mama displays

all of the magnets bought on

our cross country Road Trips.

A place of Memories.

A place for pics of Long Distance Friends.

A place for pics of the Big Kids.

A place for pics of Sweet Noah.

Our BEST Refrigerator Door Story . . .

We hosted Young Life at our house a few years back.

A Young Life leader invited a friend of his to come one night.

The friend walked through our kitchen on his way downstairs.

As he glanced at the refrigerator door,

he did a double take and asked, 

"How do you have a picture of my cousins on your refrigerator?

My cousins that have lived in England for many, many years?"

Oh my!  

The cousins have been friends of mine for 30+ years.

And . . . come to find out . . . I had actually babysat this

"friend of the young life leader" back when he was in diapers,

and we all lived several hours away from here.

Yes.

It is so fun to have pics of long-time-friends on my Freezer Door.

What does your Refrigerator Door look like???