What's Up with the Big D. Family?

A dear friend (and blog reader) emailed the other day and asked for an update.  
While I am sure that she enjoys the posts about baking, and sewing, 
and the high school musical, she really wanted to know how LIFE 
was going for Mama and the Big D. Family.  (Thanks, Sheri, for asking.)

I thought a few of you might also be interested in an update.
If not  . . . just hop on over to a more interesting blog for today.  :)
If so . . . here is a totally random update in no particular order.


Life is BUSY, BUSY, BUSY  . . .  but going well in most areas.  (smile)

A Very Serious Downside of Getting Skinny: Hair Loss

Okay, Ladies.

This is a HARD one for me to even bring up.

But, I need your help, wisdom, tips, ideas.

About 15 years ago, I did the Atkins Diet.  
I lost 40 pounds in 4 months, and was quite excited about it.  
However . . . there were two major downfalls.

#1  I started losing my hair.

#2  My fingernails started thinning, breaking, cracking.

I vividly remember telling Jim,  

"You can have a fat wife with hair and nails, 
or a skinny and bald wife with no fingernails."

I chose to be the "fat wife with hair and nails".  
No more diets for 15 years.  Healthy hair and nails.

Fast forward 15 years . . .

I am sooo... excited to have lost so much weight,
and REALLY want to lose another 50 pounds.

However . . .

I am devastated that I am also losing my hair. 

Truly heartbroken.

I don't know what to do.

I still have fingernails . . . only because I now have Acrylic Nails.
However, I definitely know my own nails are not doing well,
as my Acrylic Nails are breaking and falling off more frequently.


I am eating HEALTHY foods. 

I am eating lean protein, along with fruits and veggies,
and low fat dairy products (with lots of Greek Yogurt).

I am eating Fiber (usually in the form of oats or whole wheat).

I am taking Iron and Vitamin D supplements. 
(due to long standing deficiencies in both).

The only foods that I am really cutting out are:
Sugar, Pasta, Potatoes, and Rice

I have NO IDEA what could trigger the hair loss.

I have tried to do internet research,
but am not coming up with any answers.

My family does not have hereditary female hair loss. 
(or male hair loss, either)

I noticed a bit of hair loss almost immediately 
after starting the diet last summer.

However, it has gotten significantly worse.
I was just comparing pictures taken just
4 months ago, and my hair is noticeably thinner.

I don't want to stop the diet now.

I so don't want to regain all of the weight.

I don't want to give up after all of my hard work.

But . . .

I don't want to be bald, either.

Plain and Simple:  I don't want to have to choose.


Oh so hoping and praying that one of you might have some answers for me.


Have you lost hair when you've lost weight?

Do you know if it is tied to a specific nutritional deficiency?

And . . .

oh the most humbling question of all:  

do any of you use Rogaine???
(you can email me privately if you 
don't even want to "put it out there")


Remember . . .

I have no health insurance, 
so I can't start going from doctor to doctor.

I haven't inherited a bundle of money, 
so I don't have thousands to spend on this.

(I read an article of women who spend several thousand 
dollars every few months for treatment of hair loss.)


Oh dear!  Oh dear!  Oh dear!

This is really troubling me.



Yes.

I know there are worse things in this world than being bald;
but please don't judge me for wanting to take care of my body and my hair.

Flying Pizza

I was excited to make Homemade Pizza for tonight's dinner.

I was planning to take a picture of it, and give you all the recipe for the crust.

I made a beautiful pizza . . . if pizza's can be beautiful.

Then, I added . . .

Pepperoni

Canadian Bacon

Mushrooms

Green Peppers

Onions

Olives

It was looking good.

Then . . .

when Jim went to pull it out of the oven to put the cheese on . . .

Mama's In The Kitchen Again

I told you last week that I had been 

Baking, Baking, & Baking . . .

in order to make  After School Snacks  for Hosanna & Friends . . .

as they came over before Play Practice three days in a row.

Well . . .

this week has found me keeping my oven hot, as well.

The Wizard of Oz

Our local high school drama program has been working on 

The Wizard of Oz 

for the past 4 months.

(They have always graciously included our homeschooled children.)

Their production this week has been WONDERFUL.

Doesn't Hosanna (middle) make a cute Munchkin?

Cappuccino Brownies with Cappuccino Frosting

This is our  Family Favorite Brownie  recipe.

After School Snacks

As a homeschooling family, we've never really done "After School Snacks".  You know . . . the classic "picture" of Mom with her apron on, baking cookies as the kids come in from school every afternoon, and pouring them a big glass of milk to go with their hot-out-of-the-oven Chocolate Chip Cookies.

So . . . all of you moms who's kids do go to school . . . are you ready and waiting with homemade snacks every afternoon?  Just wondering . . .

Anyway . . . this past week, Hosanna's schedule changed just a bit.  Rather than having Play Practice at 3:00 every afternoon, it was pushed back until 4:00.  So, the high schoolers got out of school at 2:15, and then had almost 2 hours before they had to arrive at the Middle School Auditorium for Play Practice.

We happen to live just a mile from the Middle School, while several of Hosanna's closest friends live "out in the county", further from the schools.  On Monday, Hosanna asked if she could have a few friends over between school and play practice.  "Of course," I said, "maybe I'll bake you some After School Snacks."

Tuesday, I pulled out a cookbook and thought I would try something new.  I found a recipe for Chocolate Raspberry Crumb Bars.  It looked good, but I knew immediately that I would need to make a little change:  White Chocolate is always in order with Raspberries.

When the girls walked in the door after school . . .

Mama pulled a pan of hot White Chocolate Raspberry Crumb Bars out of the oven.

Mama Has Been Sew Busy

While I have done a bit of sewing over the years,

it has been quite some time since I've pulled out the machine.

(Let's just say that I think the 3 younger kids

were unaware that Mama knows how to sew.)

I think the last thing I sewed was dining room and living room curtains . . .

10 years ago . . . and I never liked them, but couldn't afford to replace them . . .

"sew" I always felt like a failure in the sewing department.

I have had a few projects lined up, though, and waiting

for me this past year, since we have done

quite a bit of redecorating.

"Sew", our Dining Room Table has been "decorated"

with the Sewing Machine this week.

And, it has been "Sew" Much Fun.

Project #1

I re-covered an ottoman for the Rec. Room.

(When we sold the 3 matching sofas and 2nd ottoman

last year, we kept 1 ottoman for me to re-cover,

to coordinate with our new sectional.)

How Do You Define Success?

Some people have very specific definitions

for their  "Success" in life :

Getting Straight A's  =  Success

Winning the State Track Meet  =  Success

Raising All of their Children to Love the Lord  =  Success

Losing 100 Pounds  =  Success

And . . . 

I would agree that every one of those things does  =  Success

However . . .

can we not be successful if we don't reach each of those ultimate goals?

What if we have a 3.87 Grade Point Average?

What if we get 10th place in the State Track Meet?

What if some of our children walk away from the Lord?

What if we only lose 50 pounds, when we need to lose 100?

Does that mean that we are "Unsuccessful" ?

God Loves Her More Than I Do

My Blog Friend Carissa wrote a post last week, that I wanted to share an excerpt from.  She is having some challenges with her precious little daughter . . .

"which left me wondering, how on earth i am supposed to handle my beautiful child?  i wanted a specialist, an intervention, a something. 

finally i did what i should always do all along. i gave it to the Lord. which happens to be the best thing and the most necessary thing. i prayed. and continue to. because sometimes most of the time the parenting book wisdom runs dry. but the Maker of heaven and earth and my child never runs dry. His work of redemption is constantly bringing order to the chaos. this looks like different things for different kids. but mostly, just knowing He is working on my child way more than i ever could/can is a comfort. hello! He even loves her more than i do.
miraculously, things are changing slowly. we still have bad days, but there are more good days in-between. maybe one day our prayers will lead us to a specialist, or whatnot, but for now, we pray and we love her the best we know how. 

i am discovering that all of this parenting stuff is a letting go.  a letting go of my own pride, realizing i don't know what to do, knowing i can't save my child or make them be something. we train as much as we can, lead and teach, but ultimately it is God who does the work and the saving. the beautiful thing, is that while He is working on them, He is working on me, too, sometimes even more so. 

even though i don't know what to do, He does. hallelujah, what a sweet relief. mothers everywhere rejoice!!"

Powerful words, aren't they?

I think that Carissa hit the nail on the head in so many areas.

How often do we mothers wonder, "How am I supposed to handle this?"

How often do we try all of our own ideas, before giving it over (once again) to the Lord, and His ideas?

God is working in our children.  He loves them even more than we do.

I cannot save my children.  I cannot make them be something they are not.  

(I cannot heal Rachel.  I cannot take away her trauma memories and pain.)

God is in charge of saving my children.  He will do His work in their lives.

(God is in charge of healing Rachel.  He is working in her life . . . in His timing.)

I must trust Him, and I must allow Him to do His work in my life, as well.


Do you have an area of parenting (or just life) that you need to give back to the Lord?

Do you have a person or relationship in your life that you need to give up to Him?

Are you allowing the Lord to do His work in your life, as well?

The SAD Realities of R.A.D.

I don't talk a lot about RAD any more.  With Rachel now living at a Residential Care Facility, we are not dealing with the regular RAGES and such.  We are getting used to a quieter house, and less stress.  We are so thankful that the LORD provided a safe place for Rachel, a place for her to grow and heal without the daily pressure that she struggled with of Family Attachment.

Last Thursday, however, I seemed to come across blog after blog dealing with the Realities of RAD.  So, I thought I would share a few excerpts and links.


The Day My Son Tried To Blow Us Up . . . 
For The Second Time

Traumaversaries...are something parents, victims and therapists in the trauma world reference when talking about a day, season, or time of year where someone is more than usually triggered, acting out or even plagued with anxiety attacks or some other odd health phenomena. 

IT.IS.REAL.

.....and when I go back and read last years emails, last years messages...I see a pattern, you know, cuz a mini base ball bat that is stuck in a Furnace and breaks off spokes and makes the rotation go off can create a fire .... happening twice, on the same day, one year apart ... BOOOOM.

I went to my boy.
I promised him before we even had the talk....

*that I already knew and had forgiven him.
* that he would not get in trouble.
* that no one would spank him
* that no one would call the police
*that I still loved him
*that I was not getting rid of him
* that I was going to help him try harder to keep his boundaries
*that it really was going to be O.K.

I said these things while my chest squeezed and panic filled it, because I had a hard time believing my words.  Can I help him enough?  Is it really going to be OK?

I held his face. I helped him with words.
He shared some words that scared the ba-jebbers out of me, true, feeling words.
“I really wanted to blow everyone up, especially you Mamma,."  " How can you forgive me for that?” 

“Uh, O.K. Wow, those are some pretty big feelings, no matter what it is my job to love you and keep all of us safe.......and ect.”
He cried, tears came out of everywhere. I hugged him.
We both were snot dripping messes when it was all said and done.

He ended with...

“Mom I only sometimes want you dead. But then if your were dead, who would I ask to help me cuz you were dead? I know I told you I don't love you and maybe sometimes that is true, but sometimes it isn't.”

This is REALITY, people.  This is what MANY adoptive parents have to walk through on a daily basis.  This is NOT the typical little bio. kid who says, "Mommy, I don't like you."  No.  This is a child who SERIOUSLY wants to harm his mother . . . wants to blow up his house, with his family in it.  Oh how this took me back to almost exactly a year ago when Rachel looked me in the eye and coldly said, "Mom, sometimes I want to kill you."  It sends shivers up my spine, even now.

"No Words.  Well, Some Actually . . ."

I got on facebook this morning . . . And discovered . . . that one of the moms in the network of support groups for parents of RAD kids was murdered by her daughter some time in the last few days - her body was found yesterday.  

Baby Shakes and Daisy Cakes

I went to a Baby Shower tonight.

The Baby's Name is Daisy.

So . . . 

I decided to make "Daisy Cakes".

Family Restoration (Part 2)

Scroll Down . . . or go HERE for Part 1, if you missed it yesterday.

This is a continuation of my thoughts after Day #1 of our Women's Bible Study at Church.
We have just started Beth Moore's study of James:  Mercy Triumphs.


What will it take to bring Family Restoration to the Big D. Family?

What will it take to bring forgiveness?

How long do we have to wait before we can put the past behind us?

Will our family ever be restored?

Will there be a day when we will all be together again,
living in unity one with another?




"Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen;
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke, 
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?

Is it not to share your food with the hungry,
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter -

when you see the naked to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;

then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.

Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say:  Here I am.

If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,

and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,

then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.

(then) the Lord will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame . . .

Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

Isaiah 58: 6-12



God's Word tells us "not to turn away from your own flesh and blood".

And . . .

if we do this . . .

our "light will break forth" . . .

our "healing will appear quickly" . . .

"righteousness will go before you" . . .

and "the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard".


Isn't that what we all want?


If . . .

we do away with the yoke of oppression . . .


If . . .

we get rid of the pointing finger . . .


If . . .

we put off all malicious talk . . .


Then . . .

our lights will rise in the darkness . . .


Then . . .

the Lord will guide us  . . .


Then . . . 

the Lord will strengthen us . . .


Then . . .


Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins . . .

and will raise up the age-old foundations . . .

and you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls . . .




It sure seems as if our family lies in ruins . . . broken beyond repair.


Yet . . .


I believe that the Lord can rebuild the ruins.


I believe that the Lord can raise up and restore
the foundations that we built over the past 30 years.


I believe that the Lord so desires to call our family:

"The Repairer of Broken Walls".


I believe that the Lord wants to use our marriage and our family 
as an example of what He can do to "rebuild the ruins".


I believe that the Lord wants to use our marriage and our family
as a ministry of the work that only He can do to "repair broken walls".



Wow!

This study of James sure took me a different direction than I expected this week.

I can't wait to dig into my daily homework to learn more,

and I do look forward to studying,

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. . . "


Stay tuned for updates from "Mercy Triumphs".  I am certain that I will have lots to share.

Family Restoration: Jesus' Large Family Dynamics

Our Women's Bible Study at church began a new study yesterday.

I am a Small Group Leader for the Study of James: Mercy Triumphs, by Beth Moore.

I love the Book of James.

I have read it MANY times.

I am so ready to jump right into the study of . . .

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.  But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, becasue he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind."  James 1:2-6

I can hardly wait to hear Beth Moore's thoughts on . . .

"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."  James 1:12

I know Trials.

I understand the need to Persevere.

I pray that my Perseverance through our current Trials will finish its work, so that I may be "mature and complete".

Oh how I seek the Lord for His Wisdom, praying that He will give it to me generously.


So . . .

what does this have to do with "Family Restoration"?

No . . .

that was certainly not the topic I was expecting to hear about in our first week of studying James.


Beth starts this study by taking a look at: Who James Was.

Do you know who he was?

James was the "natural" brother of Jesus.  He was the oldest son born to Joseph & Mary (after Jesus was conceived by Mary and the Holy Spirit).

Did you know that Jesus' Family had "issues" sometimes? 

No.

They weren't perfect.

Snuggles

Noah & Grandma . . .

enjoyed the Super Bowl on Sunday.

Gregg, Kayla, and Noah 

arrived at Midnight on Friday night.

We had a Relaxing Day on Saturday,

followed by a FUN evening spent with

Adopted Big Kid Jared & his girlfriend.

BBQ'd Burgers

Potato Salad

Apple Pie

Hand & Foot

(our favorite family card game)

After Church on Sunday,

(oh how I LOVE worshipping

with Sweet Noah in my arms)

we all headed over to a friend's house for a

Super Bowl Party.

Grandma LOVED snuggling Noah,

after Uncle Elijah wore him out from playing.

Gregg and his Sweet Family headed home about noon on Monday.

We were so BLESSED to be with FAMILY this weekend.

Kayla & I stayed up visiting until 1:00am all 3 nights.

Ben came over and spent much of the weekend with us.

Noah is sure growing up . . .

definitely recognizing us now . . .

and starting to walk.

I am Thanking Jesus . . .

for Big Kids . . .

and Grandbabies.

Cookie Cutters

Most of our kids were known as 

"Cookie Cutter Babies",

all made from the same mold.

Baby after baby after baby

would pop out looking the same.

We were very curious, then,

what our precious grandchildren would look like.

Gregg & Kayla attend the same church that

we attended as a family when Gregg was in K-8th grade.

Many of our old friends still attend there,

and they knew a LOT of "Big D. Babies" over the years.

It comes as no surprise, then, that they all say,

"Noah is definitely a Big D. Baby."

Yep.

I definitely think that . . . 

Gregg borrowed the Cookie Cutter.

I. Feel. Sick.

      Sometimes . . .

grief

and

pain

and

heartache

and

worry

        cause me to not care about . . .

diets

and

calories

and

carbs

and

fat.

A Fun Family Friday Night

This actually took place a couple of weeks ago,

but I just downloaded the pics from my camera.

7:45 pm   *   34 degrees 

Why are we roasting sausages over a "campfire"? 

A Cute Little Family

Cassie & Dean with Little Wesley.

Babies sure do change a lot in their first few weeks of life.